RECAP: Caroline Manzo, Mother and Bouncer

The Real Housewives of New Jersey has something going for it that the other franchises don't: Everyone is somehow related to and/or emotionally intertwined with somebody else on the show. And that always makes for the juiciest drama, especially around the holidays.

This week's ep picked up at Melissa's holiday party, where Melissa had already booted a party guest because her sis-in-law, Teresa, asked her to. So then when Teresa decided that Kim G. also needed to go, Caroline stepped in and booted her from the shindig -- which would end up causing drama because Caroline's son is BFFs with Kim's son.

Later, Teresa held her annual Christmas Eve dinner, where she played nice to, then ripped, Melissa, while her own brother insulted her cooking behind her back. Meanwhile, at Caroline's Christmas Eve dinner, Jacqueline's daughter and husband tried to patch things up; and Kathy was, once again, the odd (wo)man out, since Teresa has no intention of making things right with her cousin. She was fixing dinner at home for friends.

Joy to the world!


-- Goes over and tells Kim G. not to stir up family drama at Melissa's holiday party. It's not really her business, but we admire her spunk (+3)

-- She winds up throwing Kim G. out of the party, even though it's not her house. We can't stand Kim G. either, but that's kinda pushing it (-2)

-- Caroline's sons -- one of whom is Kim G.'s son's best friend -- back up their mama and escort Kim from the house (+2)

-- After the incident, the family (including Jacqueline and her husband and daughter) debrief in a private room and try to figure out how Chris can salvage his friendship, seeing as he just sent his pal's mom packing (+2)

-- Does a radio show centering around divorce. Her brother (and Jacqueline's hubby) calls in and asks how to improve his relationship with his step daughter. Caroline recognizes his voice and gets sentimental (+1)

-- Hooks up a ginormous meal for Christmas Eve, and spends so much time slaving over the stove that she doesn't even have time to get dressed or put on makeup (-4)

Net gain/loss: +2

Current total: 112


-- At her party, Joe is (jokingly) grinding on four other ladies on the dance floor. We're glad we're not married to this guy, but we can't get enough of watching him (+4)

-- Melissa tells her kids that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. They ask how old Jesus is, and Melissa says "89." (-2)

-- Joe doesn't want to go to Teresa's because he doesn't want to see Joe Giudice's family, who apparently got in on the fist fight at the baby christening (-3)

-- Melissa drags her nanny to the gathering. I'm sure the nanny has nothing better to do on Christmas Eve anyway, right? I mean, who wants to tend to their own kids at a family gathering anyway (-3)

-- Brings Teresa's favorite cookies to the party, since last year, Teresa threw away her sprinkle cookies (+3)

-- At the party, Joe insults some of the food offerings, calling them "dried up fish." (-3)

-- Whenever they're out of ear shot, Joe Giudice is insulting Melissa and Joe. At one point, he calls her "raccoon face" and "an animal." Merry Christmas to all! (-5)

Net gain/loss: -9

Current total: 31


-- After Melissa does all her bidding at the party, Teresa wants to dance with her and have fun (+4)

-- Teresa leaves the party but is still standing outside when she sees Kim G get kicked out. She gloats, then talks about going home to mount her husband as icing on the cake (+2)

-- Plans a huge dinner for her family (Kathy excluded). "Christmas Eve is my holiday." Yes, Teresa Giudice and Jesus go hand in hand (+2)

-- Daughter Gia gets a big, sparkly ring from some boy in her class, to which Joe Giudice replies, "I'm gonna kick that boy's ass." Kid, you better get out yer runnin' shoes. Joe G does not play (+3)

-- Teresa's description of the Gorgas: "We are approachable, we have great personalities" -- except for Melissa of course. Now, that's the holiday spirit! (-3)

-- Gets on Melissa's case for wearing an "inappropriate" strapless dress on Christmas Eve, but she's wearing a skirt that is so short, she would expose her birth canal if she even slightly bends over (-5)

-- Meanwhile, Teresa's brother insults her food, which makes us wonder if her cookbook is entitled Skinny Italian because people would rather starve than eat it (-4)

Net gain/loss: -1

Current total: 37


-- Is a dedicated friend who listens to Caroline's show. She calls her hubby, Chris, to remind him to tune in (+3)

-- At Caroline's dinner, Ashley and Chris have a heart-to-heart (+4)... and it's in front of about eight other people also sitting at the table. I guess when your family is huge, there's no such thing as privacy (-1)

-- Ashley admits that she has screwed up a lot, and cries a little at the table. Oh, look. There ARE some feelings in there underneath that know-it-all teenage facade (+2)

Net gain/loss: +8

Current total: 53

KATHY (101)

-- At her place, Kathy's mother (and Teresa's aunt) tells the story of why she is at odds with her brother (and Teresa's dad). The rift between their parents is the reason Teresa and Kathy don't speak, and the whole thing is petty and very, very sad (-4)

Net gain/loss: -4

Current total: 97


Caroline: 112

Kathy: 97

Jacqueline: 53

Teresa: 37

Melissa: 31