Friends with Other Benefits

Since this year’s No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits have explicitly confirmed what we’ve known since at least When Harry Met Sally -- that on-screen friends can’t have sex without becoming third-act lovers -- we wondered just how low the stakes could possibly get for Hollywood romances to come.

Between Me and Queue – Can two college roommates share one Netflix queue when times get tough, or will they end up rating one another a full five stars? (Yes. They will.) Starring Logan Lerman and Emma Roberts.

Shifting Gears – Can two co-workers agree to carpool in the face of steep gas prices without commuting into each other’s hearts? (No. They can’t.) Starring Morgan Freeman and Jessica Tandy Tom Arnold and David Paymer Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emily Blunt.

Quick Change – Can two strangers try to pick a penny up off the sidewalk without falling head over heels? (It’s a short.) Starring James McAvoy and Amanda Seyfried.

The Last Straw – Can two platonic pals split a large soda at the movies without complicating things? (I’ll give you three guesses.) Starring Greta Gerwig and Anton Yelchin; shot in one 90-minute take by Joe Swanberg later this afternoon.

Crazy About You – Can two split personalities co-exist within a serial killer’s fractured psyche when outside treatment threatens to eliminate them entirely? (Of course.) Starring Paul Dano and Mia Wasikowska, with Ben Foster as the killer and Maggie Gyllenhaal as his doctor. They too will fall in love.

Nothing but the Tooth – Can two retirees take turns eating with the same pair of dentures without wanting to include one another in their will? (Better not to overthink it.) Starring Betty White and Andy Griffith.

The Kindest Cut – Can two film editors finish cutting the Gordon-Levitt/Blunt rom-com without landing on the cutting room floor themselves? (Insert splice joke here.) Starring Dylan Tichenor and Thelma Schoonmaker.