Real Housewives of NYC: Model Behavior

After watching The Real Housewives of New York City, we can't help but wonder if modeling is as selective field as they make it out to be on shows like America's Next Top Model. Because if Ramona Singer and Alex McCord are modeling, then really, can't everyone take a little turn in front of the camera from time to time?

Anyway, in Thursday night's assault on the senses, Alex conveyed absolutely no emotion, passion or skill during her photo shoot, while Ramona's crazy eyes were again front and center in a runway show. And, like, shouldn't they at least be modeling clothes from Chico's or Coldwater Creek instead of top designers? I don't know. Maybe we're the ones who are out of touch.

In other haps, Sonja and Alex patched things up after last week's rumble; Cindy bushwhacked the ladies at her spa; LuAnn set up the single biddies on speed dates; and Kelly sent the guys fleeing, without even pulling "Satchels of gold!" from her bag of tricks.

Work it, girl:

ALEX (54)

-- Meets Sonja for lunch to discuss the art party debacle. Says "I don't want to rehash it." Proceeds to rehash it (-3)

-- After sneaking in a few key points, decides they should just drop it and move on (+2)

-- Simon plans a birthday lunch on Governor's Island for Alex. It is so cold that he is is forced to button up his shirt all the way. There IS a God! (+5)

-- Everyone at the party is cold and miserable (-2), but Alex thinks it was the best birthday ever (+3)

-- Also, she spills champagne on some little kid's head (-3)

-- Has a modeling photo shoot. Alex is to print modeling what Ramona is to runway modeling (-4)

-- Goes straight from the shoot to Ramona's award event with her bird's nest hairdo, and everyone ribs her about it (-3)

-- She says she didn't have time to fix it, but we think she left it that way on purpose to brag about what she'd been doing, After all, she had time to change her outfit and take the makeup down several notches (-1)

Net gain/loss: -6

Current total: 48


-- Designer David Meister lets Ramona model for him again after last year's bug-eyed catastrophe. She must spend a LOT of money with this guy... or he wants the publicity on the show (+4)

-- She does far better than last time, but still looks ludicrous because she's alongside real models who know what they're doing (-2)

-- Gets upset that Kelly can't come to her award event and sends her a drunken, middle-of-the-night text (-3)

-- Is recognized for being an inspirational entrepreneur. She's got (ugly) jewelry, a skin care line and her own personal pinot grigio (+5)

-- Is nervous to give speech to 600 people, but pulls it off without any turtle time incidents (+3)

Net gain/loss: +7

Current total: 94

KELLY (107)

-- Tells LuAnn she doesn't want to go on dates, she wants to get married. Meaning, she's giving off "desperate" vibes to everyone she meets (-4)

-- Has lunch with Cindy, and decides to send Ramona an email in the middle of it "so she doesn't forget." It takes her an eon to write two sentences (-5)

-- At speed dating, a guy tells her he's an actor. Twice. Kelly: "So, what instrument do you play?" (-5)

-- At the same event, she asks actor to perform a scene in which he proposes to her. See item No. 1 above (-3)

Net gain/loss: -17

Current total: 90

LUANN (108)

-- Boyfriend Jacques is hosting The Wine Connection, which is basically just a fancy name for speed dating  (+2)

-- LuAnn invites the single 'wives and says several times they might get to meet some Europeans. Because otherwise, they'd never have the chance to do such a thing a podunk town like New York City (-1)

-- When Kelly inquires about sipping wine, LuAnn encourages her to "swallow, don't spit." Huh. We pegged the Countess as a spitter, fo' sure (+2)

-- At Cindy's spa day, LuAnn does NOT want to discuss her pubes with the girls, but eventually gets a little somethin' somethin' done down there. You're welcome, Jacques (+3)

-- "We won't tell anybody right?" No, LuAnn. Only the people who watch Bravo (-2)

Net gain/loss: +4

Current total: 112

SONJA (80)

-- Eats lunch at a nice restaurant with Alex wearing a furry winter hat that's straight out of the Russia vignette from "It's a Small World" (-3)

-- At speed dating, has an easy time talking to the men and handling the young dude that couldn't stop checking out her cleavage (+4)

-- At Ramona's award ceremony, gives a running commentary on Ramona's speech. Why is she so obnoxious this season? (-3)

Net gain/loss: -2

Current total: 78

CINDY (102)

-- At lunch with Kelly, is upset because she just had to fire her nanny (-2)

-- Except that she didn't do the firing; she made her brother do it for her because she's too wimpy (-3)

-- At Alex's freezing birthday party, has an excuse to leave early because she brought the twin babies and their little gums were chattering (+4)

-- Hosts a private spa party for the girls at her hair removal place (+3), but it means we learn more than we ever wanted to know about everyone's hedges (-2)

Net gain/loss: +0

Current total: 102

JILL (92)

-- Is in Australia, but sends Ramona a text message to congratulate her on her award (+2)

-- Is absent from this episode, and we didn't really miss her (-1)

Net gain/loss: +1

Current total: 93


LuAnn: 112

Cindy: 108

Ramona: 94

Jill: 93

Kelly: 90

Sonja: 78

Alex: 48