Character Countdown: The Real Housewives of O.C., Episode 6

You know, it's been hard not to get a little burnt out on the Tamra and Eddie PDA show. But in last night's episode of The Real Housewives of O.C., we finally saw that there was some substance behind all their sexcapades, and we honestly couldn't be happier for her (especially after Bravo treated us to some old footage of her crappy relationship with ex-husband Simon).

Eddie treated Tamra to a Spanish vacation, pampering her with a gorgeous hotel suite and lots of fun sightseeing. They behaved in a way that functional couples do when they're head over heels for each other, and frankly, she deserves it.

Back in the States, Vicki demonstrated relationship dysfunction with her long-suffering husband, Donn; Peggy had her implants redone, much to Alexis' disapproval; and Gretchen rewarded her parents for 40 years of marriage with a romantic day filled with special memories. She may have questionable taste in men, but as a daughter, Gretchen is top-notch.

Let's count 'em down:

TAMRA (98)

-- Goes on a 10-day jaunt to Spain with boyfriend Eddie for her birthday (+4)

-- Talks to Eddie at length about her text message from Alexis, and his reaction is "whatever." (+3)

-- Is glad Eddie speaks Spanish because "my Spanish is el crap-o. ... I can tell you off, but I can't order anything." Hey, Tamra, there's this brand new thing out called a Spanish-English dictionary (-3)

-- Has a stunning hotel room with an awesome view. She and Eddie make out on the balcony while they take it all in (+5)

-- Eddie is photographing the whole trip. Tamra is a little annoyed by it, but she'll appreciate it later (+3)

-- Somehow, she gets Eddie to pose with her in a bullfighting costume. He really must love her, because he looks ridiculous (+2)

-- Eddie hints that he might want to have kids with her. She's 43 and already has four of them (read: she's done spitting them out), but strings him along about it anyway (-4)

-- She tries to order snacks from a little deli and struggles with her Spanish. When she's done, she finds out the clerk speaks perfect English and was just messing with her (-3)

-- Seems truly happy and can be herself with Eddie. It might get kinda nauseating sometimes, but Simon made her miserable, so we're down with it (+6)

Net gain/loss: +16

Current total: 116

VICKI (79)

-- Decides to take off work and spend an entire day with her family on their boat since she never sees them (+3)

-- Invites some people from work so that she won't have to go a whole day without talking about it (-4)

-- Sees a guy fishing and remarks that it's a strange thing to do in the middle of the day (-2)

-- Her family retorts: "It's called a hobby -- something you should have." (-4)

-- Vicki recalls days when she used to have actual hobbies, but doesn't seem to miss any of them (-3)

-- Donn calls her obnoxious and she gets pissed. She'd lose more points for it if it weren't true (-2)

-- Keeps referring to her "work family" with much more love and compassion than her flesh and blood family (-5)

-- When daughter Brianna dares to have some fun and drink wine on the boat, Vicki calls her out in front of everyone. She reminds Brianna that her biological father is an alcoholic and that she shouldn't drink so much. If Vicki isn't woo-hooing, ain't nobody gonna woo-hoo (-3)

-- Hubby visits her at work and Vicki treats him like a pariah (-5)

-- She remarks that she gets a great deal of respect from her co-workers, but none at home, so that's why she gravitates toward work so much. But respect goes both ways, lady, and we don't see you doling out a whole lot of it at home either (-4)

-- Scolds her employee for something by lecturing her and then spanking her. I don't care if you've known her since she was a tot, it's still demeaning (-4)

Net gain/loss: -32

Current total: 47

PEGGY (100)

-- Goes in for plastic surgery to replace her 18-year-old implants. "Boobs are a very big accessory." She probably didn't intend that to be funny, but it is (+3)

-- Is worried about what will happen to her children if something happens to her in surgery (-2)

-- Husband is allowed into the operating room to check out her twins during surgery and advise the doctor on their size. Surprisingly, she does not walk out with FFFs (+1)

-- After surgery, hubby hands her ginormous diamond earrings as a congratulations gift (+5)

-- Can't pick up a bottle of water, let alone her young daughters, post-surgery. We assume she can't pick up her giant rock earrings, either, then (-3)

-- Alexis brings her a bunch of food to feed her family (+3), but we suspect it was just a ploy to check out Peggy's new handiwork (-3)

-- After Alexis sees her new additions, she implies on camera they were shoddily done. Cue Dionne Warwick: "That's what friends are fooooor..." (-4)

Net gain/loss: +2

Current total: 102

GRETCHEN (90)

-- Admits that Tamra can be funny, but that her jokes lack the perfect timing. Gretchen deems her own timing superb, of course. Apparently, none of them realize their "jokes" are not hilarious, but totally bitchy (-2)

-- In one scene, she appears to be wearing a negligee, but when she stands up, it turns out to be a really ugly, silky top (-3)

-- Plans a special, surprise-filled day for her parents' 40th wedding anniversary. It begins with a trips down memory lane and ends with a vowel renewal and some new bling for mom. Very well thought out and quite sweet (+10)

-- During this day, Slade talks to Gretchen's dad about marrying her and his reaction is not encouraging. At least someone on this show has some sense (+4)

Net gain/loss: +9

Current total: 99

ALEXIS (84)

-- Gretchen's dog refuses to get on Alexis' lap, probably because her enormous bosom doesn't leave the dog much space (-3)

-- Sends Tamra a text, and tells Gretchen to her face, that the two need to quit causing scenes and taking jabs at one another. Come on, Alexis -- not everyone can be as boring as you (-3)

-- Takes Peggy a bunch of food so she doesn't have to cook with her new boobs. It was thoughtful, even if her motives weren't totally pure (+5)

-- Scopes out Peggy's new chest appendages and immediately disparages their quality in the confessional. Uh oh! What would Jesus do? Probably not that (-3)

Net gain/loss: -4

Current total: 80

CURRENT TOTALS:

Tamra: 116

Peggy: 102

Gretchen: 99

Alexis: 80

Vicki: 47