DVD Alternatives to This Weekend's Theatrical Offerings

It's February. Chances are excellent that if terrible weather doesn't keep you away from the multiplex, the terrible movies on offer will. (Though I kid Sanctum 3-D, which is at least enjoyably cheesy). You're better off staying home and watching DVDs...

INSTEAD OF: The Roommate, in which kooky obsessive Leighton Meester wants her new college roomie, Minka Kelly, to be her bestest friend ever, even if it means she has to smother the poor girl with affection, and we don't mean that figuratively...

WATCH: Single White Female (1992), in which nice, sane Bridget Fonda auditions for new roommates, and ends up with insanely manipulative -- and then just plain insane -- Jennifer Jason Leigh. Or check out SwimFan (2002), in which Erika Christensen crazy-stalks athlete Jesse Bradford. For a really great scary roommate flick, don't miss the excellent Shallow Grave (1994), in which great pals and flatmates Christopher Eccleston, Kerry Fox, and Ewan McGregor find their friendship strained when someone new moves in. For a crazy psychotic tenant-from-hell tale, check out the horror cheesefest Pacific Heights (1990), in which Michael Keaton refuses to pay the rent and torments his nice yuppie landlords, Matthew Modine and Melanie Griffith.

INSTEAD OF: Sanctum 3-D, in which a group of underwater cave explorers -- including Ioan Gruffudd and Richard Roxburgh -- are trapped two kilometers under the Earth and can only hope there's an unknown way out ahead of them...

WATCH: The Poseidon Adventure (1972), a classic disaster adventure that lends much of its mojo and more than a few underwater scenarios to Sanctum. For more cave thrills, don't miss The Descent (2006), in which a band of spelunkers find themselves hunted by strange humanoid creatures who've adapted to continuous life underground in the damp and the dark. For a sense of the documentary style and cinematography techniques that helped create Sanctum, see producer James Cameron's wonderful science documentaries, Ghosts of the Abyss (2003) -- about the real-life exploration of the wreck of the Titanic -- and Aliens of the Deep (2005), about the work of scientists who visit and study the deepest undersea realms on the planet.

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MaryAnn Johanson is the crazy roommate at FlickFilosopher.com. (email me)