Chelsea Handler Lands Sitcom on NBC

We have to be honest: We can't believe Chelsea Handler gets away with most of what she says on her late night talk show, Chelsea Lately. Luckily, she can say everything she needs to without being reigned in by the (loose) censorship of E! in her best-selling memoirs.

Now, her tales of sexcapades and drunkeness will come to life in a new NBC series, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me Chelsea.

And we can't help but wonder: Isn't this better suited for HBO or Showtime?

The comedy will feature stories from each of Handler's three memoirs, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands; Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea; and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. While the title character will resemble Handler, she will not have be a comedienne or actor, and she surely will not liberally drop the f-bomb or other obscenities that Handler favors.

"The show will be mined from my books and allow me the creative control to put a younger actress in the situations I found myself in at 26, while I sit back, laugh, and not get arrested," said Handler in a statement to Entertainment Weekly. Handler will serve as one of three executive producers, since she has actually lived the tales on which the sitcom will be based.

The raunchy blonde has hosted her late-night talk show -- on which she's allowed a lot more vulgarities than she would be on regular network TV -- since 2006.

All we know is this: Online, $#*! My Dad Says is gold. On television, not so much. Please, NBC, we beg of you, don't ruin Chelsea for us!