Character Countdown: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Episode 3

Usually, we need at least one season to get to know and love (or hate) a set of Real Housewives.

But The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had us at "I'm rich and riddled with plastic surgery." It's only been two episodes and we're more committed to this show than its stars are to Botox. So we figured, hey, let's count these crazies down for the remainder of the season.

In the third episode, we catch up with the ladies as they take a trip to Las Vegas to see Jay-Z in concert. (Who knew? We pegged them as more of a Michael Buble or Celine Dion kind of bunch.)

Adrienne shows the women and their husbands a good time at the Palms Hotel and Casino, which she owns with her brothers; Camille's hubby, Kelsey Grammer, has just moved to New York for a year for work and Taylor's husband chooses work over his wife.

Just to refresh you, each lady begins our countdown with 100 points. Each week, she'll earn or lose points based on things she does, or things that happen to her. When the season ends, one lucky lady will be our winner, and some poor sap will surely end up in the negatives.

You know how we do:

Camille Grammer CAMILLE (100)

-- In Kelsey's absence, Camille plays tennis on her private court with a handsome fella named Nick, explaining that she likes hanging out with athletic guys when Kelsey is away. I'm no marriage counselor, but this doesn't really seem like a great idea (-2)

-- Before playing, stretches in a provocative manner, admitting she likes to flirt with Nick (-2)

-- Says it's OK, though, because he's one of Kelsey's best friends. As Adrienne pointed out, if Kelsey is having a friend keep an eye on Camille, this hottie is probably not a wise choice (-5)

-- When Adrienne invites her to Las Vegas, she says, "Why not do something for me?" Ummmm, call us crazy, but weren't you just doing that on the tennis court? (-3)

-- At dinner, laments that it's hard to be a "single mother" of two while Kelsey is away, even though she has four nannies. Kyle and Kim, who each have four children and no nanny, could not look more stunned (-6)

-- In Vegas, dances sexily at the club, making sex faces and slapping her own ass. Knows all the other ladies' husbands are watching her and likes it (-4)

-- Practically gives Adrienne's hubby a lap dance (-4)

-- He sticks $5 in her shirt; she is insulted by the piddly amount and gives it back (-2)

-- Says she feels more comfy with men than women because women can be catty. This is true; women are their own worst enemies. BUT, if you're trying to make female friends, acting like a sex pot inches away from their menz probably isn't the shrewdest move, either (-4)

-- Sits down at the pool in between all the hubbies and talks about her breast implants. See above(-3)

-- Nick randomly shows up in Vegas and stops in at dinner to say hi to Camille. Hmm...that seems kind of suspect, but perhaps it was a coincidence. Yeah, right (-2)

-- After the concert, everyone goes up to the penthouse suite. Camille leaves early because the husbands are actually paying attention to their wives (-1)

-- At the end of Vegas trip, gets into a skirmish with Kyle (-2)

Net gain/loss:-40

Current total: 60

Adrienne Maloof ADRIENNE

-- Has a house so huge that she has to use an intercom to find her husband. And when she calls him, it echoes (+5)

-- Tells him that Jay-Z gonna be performing in Vegas and she wants to take the girls. Just once, I wish I could get a call like this from one of my girlfriends (+4)

-- Hubby loves Jay-Z (!) and wants to go (+5)

-- Shows everyone around the Palms, including the totally awesome basketball suite, which includes a half court (+3)

-- Keeps her cool when Camille is behaving like a Rock of Love contestant for her husband (+3)

-- Several more scenes are shot in various areas of the Palms. This episode is like one giant commercial for Adrienne's business (+10)

Net gain/loss: +27

Current total: 127

Kyle Richards KYLE (100)

-- Calls out Kim on her bad man choices at group dinner. Nobody needs to be reminded of their failed relationships (-2)

-- Say she is excited about going to Jay-Z concert, but when her daughter asks her to name one Jay-Z song, she fails. I think even my mom can name one. (Can't you, mom? I know you're reading this; please say yes.) (-4)

-- When packing for Vegas, says she needs three outfits per day, plus a back-up ensemble. We would make fun of this if we didn't completely overpack every time we go on vacation. Hey, you've gotta be prepared (+5)

-- Husband says nice things about her at group dinner when talking about why he married her (+3)

-- Ate very minimally for the week leading up to Vegas trip so that she'd look good. Somewhere, another young lady considers an eating disorder (-7)

-- Got into a tiff with Camille in Vegas, but we don't know whose side to take because Bravo's cameras apparently didn't catch it (-2)

Net gain/loss: -7

Current total: 93

Taylor Armstrong TAYLOR

-- Packs husband's bags for trip, even though his arms are not broken and he knows what he wants to bring (-3)

-- Basically admits that she married him to achieve a certain kind of lifestyle, not for true love. Guess someone never saw The Princess Bride as a kid (-5)

-- At dinner, admits to the group that she had to chase him for months before they started dating. Everyone is stunned because for this guy, she'd be considered quite a get (-4)

-- Husband leaves her alone in Vegas for the day to golfing in Arizona. We're starting to think maybe she's his beard (-4)

-- At another dinner, eats cotton candy for dessert in a manner that should have required a parental advisory (-3)

-- Has at least heard one Jay-Z song prior to going to the show, which is more than we can say for anyone else here besides Adrienne and her hubs (+3)

-- Hubby Russell has no apparent social skills and can't hold down a convo with anyone (-5)

-- In the middle of a nightcap in the penthouse suite with the gang, makes Taylor leave to go get something to eat. What's the point of being rich (and married, for that matter) if you never get to have any fun? (-4)

Net gain/loss: -25

Current total: 75

Lisa Vanderpump LISA (100)

-- Has everyone meet for dinner at her restaurant before the trip, and the food makes us want a midnight snack (+4)

-- Quote: "A woman can never have too many shoes." Amen, sister, amen! (+5)

-- Has a closet that is bigger than the main level of my house (+3)

-- We see her husband's suitcase and learn that he wears black Dolce & Gabbana undies. I never wanted to imagine her hubby in his skivvies, but there it is (-2)br>

-- Doesn't understand what Jay-Z is saying. But we're pretty sure even if she could hear the words, she still wouldn't understand the slang. Just a guess (-2)

-- Thinks Camille is over-reacting to her tiff with Kyle and was hearing what she wanted to hear. Based on our snap judgement, we tend to agree (+1)

Net gain/loss: +9

Current total: 109

Kim Richards KIM (100)

-- Is looking forward to going out on a date. We are too, because she seems like a really lonely woman (+4)

-- In Las Vegas, laments that she's sad and would like a companion. It sucks being a third wheel, but on this trip, she's the only one without some sort of male presence over the weekend (-3)

Net gain/loss: +1

Current total: 101

CURRENT TOTALS:

Adrienne: 127

Lisa: 109

Kim: 101

Kyle: 93

Taylor: 75

Camille: 60