Character Countdown: Jersey Shore, Episode 6

Jersey Shore without a fist fight is like a TV without a remote control. What's the point, really?

Luckily, after a handful of semi-civil episodes, Jersey Shore got back to its roots with some good, old-fashioned swearing showdowns and brawls.

With tension building between Sammi and J-Woww, it was only a matter of time before the acrylic claws came out. Jenni was fed up with Sammi's denial, whining and stupidity over Ronnie's cheating. Meanwhile, Sammi embraced a Kill the Messenger approach, taking out her scorned-woman anger on Jenni, while Ronnie remained mostly unscathed.

Ahhh, it's modern-day Shakespeare, isn't it?

In other events, The Situation got his groove on with another nameless blonde; Snooki and Vinny had an overnighter; and in between all the madness, they all sat down and had a nice, dysfunctional family dinner.

On to the countdown:

Annie WerschingJ-WOWW (94)

-- Goes to the beach with Snooki and Angelina, where they discuss Sammi and The Letter. Much of what Jenni said was bleeped out. If none of these people swore, this show would only be, like, 15 minutes long every week (-3)

-- Gets into colossal screaming match with Sammi because Sammi wouldn't go outside to talk to Snooki. Yes, apparently that's all it takes to set a huge fight in motion (-2)

-- She rubs in that Ronnie is a huge cheater, but she gets points for this because Sammi is stupid enough to stay with Ronnie (+3)

-- Goes grocery shopping for hours with Snooki. Even though all the girls were supposed to make the guys dinner, Jenni cooks for eight with a little help from Snooki (+8)

-- After Angelina drums up some drama after a night of drinking, J-Woww and Sammi argue again. J-Woww throws the first blow, and Sammi gets in one punch before MTV left us hanging until next week. Now here are the Jersey Shore kids we knew and loved from last season (-5)

Net gain/loss: +1

Current total: 95

Annie WerschingSNOOKI (81)

-- In a drunken stupor, tests out all the guys beds to see which is the most comfy because she wants to cuddle. She picks Vinny, the least slimy of the bunch, so at least she's still got standards when she's wasted (+2)

-- Instead of cuddling, they have sex with no apparent strings attached. This could be a reality show first! (+3)

-- Tells Sammi she smooshed Vinny, but otherwise stays quiet about it (+1)

-- Wants to tell Sammi that she and Jenni wrote The Letter, but Jenni pretty much forbids her from doing so (-4)

-- In order to cook for the boys, calls an ex -- "a professional cook" -- to get a recipe. Makes a grocery list with a jumbo blue crayon (+2)

-- Gets distracted by pickles in the grocery store and loses shopping list (-4)

-- Is the only one that helps Jenni make dinner (+2)

Net gain/loss: +2

Current total: 83

Annie WerschingSAMMI (21)

-- While the other girls are out, The Sitch tries to make Sammi understand that Ronnie is playing her. That's right, her boyfriend's friend is trying to talk sense into her and she still doesn't want to acknowledge it. What's it going to take? An STD? (-4)

-- Returns to her bed to cry for a while (-1)

-- Tells the girls, "that letter destroyed me." Um, it was a piece of paper. Ronnie destroyed you, moron (-3)

-- Even though the girls' cooking dinner was all her idea, she doesn't lift a finger, except to throw some lettuce in a bowl and call it a salad (-4)

-- Is pissed at Jenni, and purposely doesn't eat anything she cooked. She only eats her lettuce (-2)

-- Takes out her frustration and humiliation on everyone else in the house, but still is talking to Ronnie somewhat normally (-3)

-- Gets into two full-on cat fights with Jenni, the second of which comes to blows. Sammi punches Jenni in the face before the show ends for the week. Apparently, this is the only show on MTV that doesn't kick you off for violence. In fact, it's expected (-4)

Net gain/loss: -21

Current total: 0

Annie WerschingVINNY (113)

-- Gets woken up from a dead sleep by a drunken Snooki (-3)

-- She wants to cuddle, he obliges and he ends up getting no-strings sex out of the deal (+4)

-- He falls asleep with one hand cupping her breast (+2)

-- Snooki tells Sammi about the encounter and reveals that Vinny is hung. This is never bad news for a guy (+8)

-- When Mike's sister visits, Vinny pulls out all his finery -- a fitted baseball cap, an imitation diamond chain and his best t-shirt -- to try and impress her (+3)

-- Giggles like a school girl when she arrives, which grosses us out because she looks exactly like Mike (-4)

-- Overhears Angelina lie to the roommates and say that J-Woww was talking smack about Pauly. He tells Jenni, because it's always a really good idea to hash out problems when everyone has been drinking (-1)

Net gain/loss: +9

Current total: 122

Annie WerschingTHE SITUATION (100)

-- Tries to set Sammi straight about Ronnie: "He's 100 percent wrong. He's making you look horrible." (+3)

-- Later on, tries to stir up some trouble by telling Sammi that everyone is outside talking about her (-2)

-- Picks up a blonde in the bar, and on the way back to the house, receives "services" in the back of the cab (+4)

-- Upon arriving home, deposits blonde in his bedroom while he heats up a meal to, um, recover enough to have sex with her. So classy! (-3)

-- Pops his head in to offer her food, but doesn't invite her to at least come out and speak to him while he eats (-2)

-- Immediately after smooshing the blonde, goes out and talks to his roommates for a while, then kicks blonde out. It's a total jerk move, but at the same time, she couldn't have expected this to turn into a relationship. We didn't even get to know her name (-4)

-- Gets hit on by a tranny in the club, and he's the last one to realize it (-5)

Net gain/loss: -9

Current total: 91

Annie WerschingPAULY D (119)

-- Is shown waking up in the morning, and the back of his hair looks exactly the same, even after sleeping on it all night. We are super curious to know what hair products he uses. Has any men's magazine done a feature on this yet? (+2)

-- Gets obliterated at the bar; makes out with Angelina in car. Per Vinny: "Pauly's so wasted, he'd hook up with me right now" (-5)

-- Is put to bed by Ronnie, who is, at least, this season's resident expert on getting too drunk (+1)

Net gain/loss: -2

Current total: 113

Annie WerschingANGELINA (42)

-- Tells Sammi that the other girls wrote the letter. We all knew this was coming at some point... (-3)

-- Makes out with Pauly D in the car, giving her ammo to act a fool next time she gets jealous again at the bar (-2)

-- Tells a blatant lie about J-Woww when everyone is drunk. Vinny tells Jenni, and World War III breaks out (-4)

Net gain/loss: -9

Current total: 33

Annie WerschingRONNIE (-3)

-- Remained mostly inconspicuous for the first time this season. However, when everyone in the house is talking about the letter and its contents, Ronnie tries to deflect the attention from his activities by talking smack about the cowardly letter-writers (-3)

-- Keeps his hands, lips and nether regions to himself this week. Wonders never cease! (+5)

Net gain/loss: +2

Current total: -1


Vinny -- 122

Pauly D -- 113

J-Woww -- 95

The Sitation -- 91

Snooki -- 83

Angelina -- 33

Sammi -- 0

Ronnie -- (-1)