Character Countdown: Jersey Shore, Episode 2

Last week, Jersey Shore left off with a sloppy drunk Ronnie making out with two skanks at the nightclub. Thursday night, his inebriated foolishness continued, creating a situation that will cause him tons of problems down the road. (As Homer Simpson says, "Here's to alcohol: The source of, and answer to, all of life's problems!")

Ronnie's actions made him the charter member, and president of, a group the dudes dubbed the I.F.F. -- the I'm F***ed Foundation. And before the end of the show, Angelina was on her way to a lifetime membership as well.

The group also visited their new jobsite, where they'd be serving up gelato for the summer. J-Woww shopped for outerwear at a sex shop; Sammi and Ronnie admitted their love for each other and we learned more about the guys' fashion sense. Wifebeater = "the shirt before the shirt." In other words, you sit around the house in your wifebeater before putting on your regular shirt to go out.

No wonder laundry is part of their daily ritual!

On to the countdown!

Annie WerschingRONNIE (85)<

-- Comes home from the club drunk, and tells the guys, "I did mad work tonight, now I'll go sleep with my girl (Sammi) in the bed." Cringe (-4)

-- Lies to Sammi about "doing anything," presumably with other women, and hops in bed with her to cuddle (-5)

-- The next morning, has no recollection of the previous night, which is probably for the best (+2)

-- Utters the infamous words: "I'm never drinking like that again" (-3)

-- Plots with guys in the car about what, and how much, he should tell Sammi about the preceding night's events (-2)

-- Says she doesn't have grounds to get mad because they aren't a couple, but fails to realize his mistakes aren't limited to the three-way skank kiss (-4)

-- Gets snacks for the guys to munch on as they watch the girls argue outside (+3)

-- Admits he loves Sammi. Wants to work on the relationship with her. (Dude, NOW is the time you have to come clean about last night!) (+3)

-- Does nothing of the sort (-4)

-- Gets a tattoo on his side of praying hands. His ass better be praying if he ever wants this relationship to work out. You've gotta start with a clean slate, bro (+5)

Net gain/loss: -9

Current total: 76

Annie WerschingSAMMI (95)

-- Even if she had no idea what went on at the club, she let him sleep in her bed after he called her the c-word (-8)

-- Eavesdrops on dudes' conversation and gets the idea that Ronnie was less than pure during the previous night's outing (-3)

-- Goes through Ronnie's phone book and gets mad because he has his ex-girlfriend's number listed (-2)

-- Admits she's a mental case because she still loves him. Oh sister, we've been there. But now we look back and think, Thank God we dodged that bullet! (-3)

-- Sammi apologizes to him for snooping in his book and going off on him (+2)

-- Goes with Ronnie to get his tattoo and it's clear she wants to reconcile. We're actually starting to feel really sorry for her, because it's only a matter of time before the wheels come off and then she's gotta live with the guy (-4)

Net gain/loss: -18

Current total: 77

Annie WerschingTHE SITUATION (92)

-- Wakes up from deep slumber, takes a swig of beer, goes back to sleep. Ah, to be young again (+3)

-- Prepares meat to cook for dinner, places it in a precarious position in the fridge (-2)

-- After Snooki ruins the dinner plans, he calls in a food order under the name "Situation." Gets clowned by guy at the restaurant: "Whatever man. What's your order?" (-2)

-- Tells Ronnie he should fess up to Sammi about dancing with women, but encourages him to leave out the information about the three-way kiss. These people act like they're not being filmed for television (-2)

-- Gets straddled and bitten during a makeout session with a drunken barfly in the club. She rolls off him, exposes her (possibly underpants-less) lady parts and falls to the floor. It's nice to see he's got standards (-5)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 84

Annie WerschingSNOOKI (98)

-- Opens fridge, marinating meat spills out onto floor (-3)

-- Pays $395 for ridiculous, sparkly glasses that she can't even see out of (-2)

-- Drinks her cocktails out of one of those foot-tall plastic cups that you see people walking down the street with in Las Vegas. Except she's at home (-2)

-- Has ignored Angelina the entire time so far, but decides to confront her after hearing Angelina talked smack about her boyfriend (-1)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 90

Annie WerschingVINNY (105)

-- After Snooki spills the meat, goes out to ask a hot tubbing Situation what to do about it (-2)

-- Thinks they should still eat the floor chicken, because cooking it will kill any germs (-5)

Net gain/loss: -7

Current total: 98

Annie WerschingPAULY D (106)

-- Ronnie comes in and tells Pauly D he doesn't remember a thing about the night before. Pauly's reply? "That's what's up." A total guy response, but it made us laugh (+2)

-- It's early in the morning, and his hair is already gelled up and standing at attention. We wonder when we'll get to see him actually create one of these gravity-defying masterpieces. I'm sure it's quite an undertaking (+4)

-- His new boss is worried about his hair falling into the gelato. Clearly, he hasn't gotten close enough to realize it's more of a helmet than a hairdo (-3)

-- Hooks up with engaged girl at the bar, draws the wrath of a drunken Angelina (-1)

-- At home, gets slapped by Angelina and takes it like a man (+3)

-- Loses his temper with her outside, tells her she's just lost her only two friends in the house, but she probably won't remember it the next day (-2)

Net gain/loss: +3

Current total: 109

Annie WerschingJ-WOWW (98)

-- Ronnie confides in her about his night of creeping (+2)

-- Gets peeped by Snooki, Vinny and Pauly D through a hole in the shower door. But considering that she was just buying her club outfits at the sex shop, it's nothing that was going to stay covered anyway (-3)

-- Threatens to kick Angelina's ass, and she's kind of a brute (-4)

Net gain/loss: -5

Current total: 93

Annie WerschingANGELINA (88)

-- Is the only female witness to Ronnie's dalliances and is keeping his secret... for now (+3)

-- Pisses everyone off because she hogs the telephone all day long (-2)

-- Gets yelled at by Snooki and threatened by J-Woww; she yells back a little, but mostly blows it off (+2)

-- At the bar, takes shots with random strangers, who probably like her more than any of her housemates (+3)

-- Gets drunk, grinds with another woman on elevated dance surface, which could have scored her a few point if she didn't ... (-2)

-- Topple from elevated surface and roll on to a couch (-4)

-- Surprisingly, can still focus her eyes enough to see that Pauly D is hooking up with some woman, and immediately starts to interfere (-3)

-- Says she loves and wants to marry Pauly. Oh God, this is going to get bad (-2)

-- No surprises here: Drunken crying ensues (-3)

-- Slaps Pauly D in the kitchen (-2)

-- Even though he wants to get away from her, she chases him outside, where he tells her she has no friends left in the house (-5)

Net gain/loss: -15

Current total: 73

CURRENT TOTALS:

Pauly D -- 109

Vinny -- 98

J-Woww -- 93

Snooki -- 90

The Situation -- 84

Sammi -- 77

Ronnie -- 76

Angelina -- 73