Character Countdown: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 6

OK, someone needs to get The Real Housewives of New Jersey some dictionaries, stat. During Monday night's episode, some of the ladies had problems finding the right words to express themselves and it hurt our ears.

But even more offensive was Danielle's suspicion that the Manzo clan is trying to harm her in some way. She continued to use Danny's "protection" services, even though all the Manzos want is to stop thinking about and dealing with Danielle. Someone needs to write her a special book: "They're Just Not That Into You."

Also, Jacqueline's daughter took on Danielle; Caroline hosted a dinner party; Teresa was late again; and Dina met up with Danielle for closure, but their meeting is to be continued into next week. No closure for us this week!

Get out your calculators, kids:

Annie Wersching DANIELLE (5)

-- Kim throws Danielle a birthday party. At least she's got one friend (+1)

-- Gets offended that Kim was offended by Danny. We are offended that Danielle thinks Danny is a normal, mainstream escort you'd bring to a benefit (-2)

-- Blames the Manzos for having to bring Danny in the first place (-3)

-- Says "legencies" instead of "allegiances" (-3)

-- At home, talks to herself in her kitchen. Even her dogs look at her like she's nuts (-2)

-- Is in a Facebook/text message war with Jacqueline's teenage daughter, Ashley. She allegedly called Ashley a whore and said she had fat arms. Seriously? Way to set an adult example (-7)

-- Compares Ashley's hatred of her to terrorism and the KKK. I don't even have any words for this (-10)

-- When Ashley sent a rude text message that ended in "bye, bitch," Danielle responds aloud: "Is bye a threat? BYE?" She's making Kelly from NYC Housewives look almost sane (-4)

-- Tells people that Ashley threatened to kill her and she feels scared. Plans to call the cops. Guess Danny isn't a good bodyguard, if he can't even protect you against a teenage girl (-3)

-- Thinks putting Danny in a suit will make him behave like a gentleman. Um, you can put a diamond necklace around a turd, Danielle, but it's still going to smell (-5)

-- Has Danny hiding out in the bushes at the restaurant, just in case Dina ... what? Tries to kill her? With Bravo's cameras rolling? Oh Em Gee (-4)

-- Wonders why Dina called her to meet, only to tell her she didn't want anything to do with her. Finally, a rational thought! (+3)

-- Danielle has no pride. Just accept that Dina and the family doesn't like you and move on. At this point, you are NOT going to win them over (-1)

Net gain/loss: -40

Current total: -35

Annie WerschingJACQUELINE (96)

-- Peaceful pedicure interrupted by Danielle's friend, Kim (-3)

-- Listens knowingly to Kim's complaints about Danielle, but doesn't want to get involved (+2)

-- Thinks "supposibly" is a word, and says it at least twice (-3)

-- Daughter Ashley is picking fights with Danielle. Clearly, she has no idea that Danielle now has a team of bodyguards (-5)

-- Ashley updates her FB status that Danielle is trying to have her arrested. This girl has one brain cell (-3)

-- Should appreciate Ashley's boyfriend, Derek, because he's trying to reign Ashley in (+4)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 88

Annie Wersching DINA (106)

-- Is pissed at Danielle, so naturally, she wants to meet up with her to talk (-4)

-- Skips Caroline's dope-ass dinner to meet with Dina. Stress and tension are so much more delicious than Italian breaded chicken breasts (-3)

-- Tries to have a rational conversation with Danielle. Shouldn't she know better by now? (-2)

-- Danielle refuses to be "shushed" and Dina forgot her duct tape (-1)

Net gain/loss: -10

Current total: 96

Annie Wersching CAROLINE (89)

-- Husband runs a tight ship at the Brownstone. A good work ethic is hard to come by these days (+3)

-- Throws a huge dinner party for friends, and nobody plays the ham game during the preparation process, Instead, the whole family is helping (+2)

-- The food is making us super hungry! (+2)

-- Danielle gets brought up at the dinner and puts a damper on family fun time (-2)

-- Counsels Ashley on the appropriate way to handle Danielle, which is to ignore her (+5)

Net gain/loss: +10

Current total: 99

Annie Wersching TERESA (110)

-- Brags about Gia to other parents at the acting class, as they all roll their eyes (-3)

-- The things she's bragging about aren't even happening in the next room (-2)

-- Finds out that Gia has to lose the Jersey accent in order to book acting roles. Apparently, not everyone wants to "cawl theyah friends for a cup of cawfee." (-1)

-- Is late to dinner at Caroline's. Surprise, surprise! People should start telling her that events start an hour earlier than they actually do, so that she'll get there in time (-2)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 102

CURRENT STANDINGS:

Teresa -- 102

Caroline -- 99

Dina -- 96

Jacqueline -- 88

Danielle -- (-45)