We often wonder what goes through a costume designer's mind when they're outfitting celebrities each week on Dancing With the Stars. It has to be a fun job, right?
Still, some stars seem to fair better than others in the costume department. For instance, from week to week, we couldn't help but notice that Jake Pavelka mostly looked like a fool, and that Pamela Anderson actually took a step up in the fashion department, compared to her real-life style.
After following the show to its half-way point, we've ranked the celeb dancers on how they've been dressed -- from worst to best. (Stars that were ousted during the first three eliminations were omitted, since we didn't get to see them enough times to make a proper judgment.)
8. JAKE PAVELKA
Usually, the worst outfits males are saddled with involve the occasional sparkly trimmings and/or wearing a vest with no shirt underneath. Embarrassing, sure, but not that memorable from week to week. Except for Jake. Someone in costuming must have have really had it in for him, based on the following three outfits: A) an awful, brown pleather (or polyester?) suit for his safari-themed quick step; B) an aqua shirt with blue pants and a grotesque plaid jacket; and C) his Risky Business attire of a button down shirt, underpants and taped knees, so that he could more easily slide across the floor.
Note: He secured the worst-dressed position when he danced in his skivvies not once, but twice.
If we didn't know any better, we'd assume costume designers created outfits that reflected Kate's (ugly) personality, especially after the way she treated her dance partner, Tony. Her gowns looked even more horrible when set in motion as she danced each week like a wounded bird. The worst included her silver, mirror-y snake print tango dress, which had chain accents; the ridiculous, curly mall hair that accompanied her red, fringed dress on March 29; and her horrid side-ponytail hair extension and god-awful, unmatching two-piece dress during the world's worst paso doble.
By DWTS standards, many of Niecy's ensembles have been kind of ho-hum. But the ones that stand out, did so because they were unattractive. Sparkly gown with a feathery, stole-like detail = bad. Her yellow, orange and red fringe La Bamba number from movie night = worst. Paired with a sparkly Hawaiian hair flower and bright red lipstick, it was not only disjointed, it was just too-freakin'-much.
Last week, judge Carrie Ann Inaba said that Nicole was the best dancer that had ever been on the show. (Hey, maybe that's because she sings and dances for a living!)
Anyway, she's been shining in spite of her outfits. Luckily, her gorgeous looks and physique offer some respite from, for instance, the two-piece, red, ruffled thing from April 26 that looked like packaged Halloween costume gone bad, and her goofy sailor costume from April 5. Last week, her pretty princess gown was overshadowed by her tall, Marge Simpson hair do and 40 pounds of ice blue eyeshadow.
We've been happy on the weeks when she's been dressed to reflect the stunning pop princess that she is, but it's not often enough.
4. CHAD OCHOCINCO
Is it just us, or does it seem like the tall, strapping footballer is often bathed in see-through polyester? But being that he's tough and built and all, he somehow doesn't look quite as ridiculous as say, Buzz Aldrin, would have.
And when he's dressed in a suit, well, he's not half bad.
Evan follows the men's model of not being too over-the-top, which strikes us as funny, because as an Olympic skater, he's probably the celeb most used to sequins and rhinestones. But most of his ensembles have been composed of lightly-accessorized tuxes and suits or shirts with pants. Nothing too outstanding, but nothing too offensive, either.
2. PAMELA ANDERSON
When Pam and her ample bosom joined the cast, it seemed like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. And then something interesting happened; something we never thought possible.
Pam's DWTS outfits were actually more subdued than most of her real-life wardrobe. Oh sure, there were sparkles and sequins, but they actually covered her up, which was kind of a nice change. Many costumes -- most notably her Marilyn Monroe-inspired fox trot gown -- gave her a classy, elegant, old Hollywood look. (That is, if you overlooked her barbed wire arm tattoo.)
1. ERIN ANDREWS
When Erin's first dance involved some neon yellow, fringed, grossly over-accessorized nightmare of a costume, we were like, Oh noooooo. Hadn't this poor woman been through enough with the whole hotel stalker thing?
But since then, she's been puttin' on the ritz with interesting and glamorous gowns that were glitzy enough for DWTS, but not so over-the-top that they took away from her dancing. Standouts include her sparkling black and white waltz gown (minus the blindfold prop); her fun, Pulp Fiction ensemble from movie week and her barely-there purple number from April 26. (Yes, the one that inspired Elisabeth Hasselback to put her foot in her mouth once again.)
So far in this season, she earns our best-dressed marks.