8:01pm: Ricky Gervais reminds people that he started The Office. Yeah, but what about The Invention of Lying? Not going to take credit for that?
8:06pm: Mo'Nique wins the first Golden Globe of the evening for Precious. She gives a charming speech. Next up, The Academy Awards!
8:11pm: No, I just meant for Mo'Nique, not for the live blog. Toni Collette wins for The United States of Tara. I loved her work in About a Boy. She keeps it mercifully short.
8:15pm: Miss Golden Globe was just introduced. I believe her name was Mavis. I didn't even realize they held a competition!
8:18pm: Seeing John Lithgow win for Dexter makes me realize how much I don't miss seeing him on Third Rock from the Sun.
8:20pm: I love the roundtable setup at The Golden Globes. Do they eat prior? Is it like a 4pm dinner?
8:22pm: Up wins for Best Animation. I was kind of hoping Fantastic Mr. Fox would pull the upset, but you can't get too sad about a Pixar win. The music plays Pete Docter off the stage, but it's looking like Up will be joining Beauty and the Beast in the exclusive "Animated Best Picture Noms" club.
8:27pm: Kate Hudson introduces Nine as a nominee for Best Comedy / Musical. Poor Nine. It was just crushed at the box office. No one saw it, not even on accident.
8:29pm: Ricky Gervais gets in a plug for his blog (hint: it's his full name and then a .com) but he does at least take credit for Invention of Lying. He's back in my good graces. Not that I could stay mad at him. He once sang "Free Love on the Free Love Freeway" -- and for that he has my eternal gratitude.
8:31pm: Phillip Burke, president of the HFP is introduced. How it went was this: Ricky introduced Felicity Huffman who then introduced Phillip. He wishes us a Happy New Year. Time well spent!
8:34pm: Michael C. Hall wins for Dexter. Showtime is having a big night. Let's face it, you should be watching Dexter. That's a solid show. Although I haven't seen season four yet, so no spoilers please.
8:36pm: Julianna Margulies wins for The Good Wife. Does anyone watch that show? I'm not even asking that in a mean way, I'm simply pointing out that no one has ever emailed / texted / talked / called / mentioned The Good Wife to me. And people tell me about a lot of things. For instance, I know all about World Cup Soccer... and The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love.
8:42pm: Harrison Ford introduces Up in the Air. He's in full on "I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE!!" mode.
8:44pm: Gervais gets off a divorce joke at Paul McCartney's expense. Well done, there.
8:46pm: The theme from Crazy Heart wins. Can't knock that. The film had great music.
8:48pm: Up takes home its second Golden Globe, collecting Best Score. Folks are keeping their speeches very short. Could this show actually end on time?
8:55pm: Grey Gardens wins the Made for TV category. I was pulling for Taking Chance.
8:57pm: Wow, the Grey Gardens people were pretty severely played off. They had it coming, though. That speech went on for days.
9:01pm: Meryl Streep takes it for Julie & Julia. Her trophy room has got to be its own separate mansion at this point. I think that's her 25th Golden Globe nomination, give or take.
9:05pm: They keep mentioning Avatar before they go into commercial breaks. Good thing too, that film really needs the publicity.
9:11pm: Kevin Bacon wins for Taking Chance. Finally, only a year after I started raving about this film, it wins something.
9:15pm: Drew Barrymore has been attending The Golden Globes since she was seven. I bet she knows the answer to my dinner question.
9:22pm: Ricky Gervais is pretty great this evening. He just introduced Jennifer Aniston as "Rachel from Friends."
9:25pm: Up in the Air strikes back with a Screenplay victory.
9:27pm: Alec Baldwin wins for 30 Rock, but he doesn't show to take his reward. That's how you know you've made it in Hollywood, when they have to mail you your Globe.
9:35pm: The White Ribbon wins for Best Foreign Film. The director does show for this one.
9:40pm: Mad Men wins for Best TV Drama. I'm hoping we're almost through with the TV Globes.
9:42pm: Is anyone else over Luke Wilson and the AT&T commercials? I get it. You hate Verizon. Let's all just move on.
9:47pm: Chloe Sevigny takes home a Golden Globe for Big Love. If you had her in your office pool I've gotta ask... why do you have a Golden Globes office pool? And can I play next year?
9:51pm: Christoph Waltz wins for Inglourious Basterds! That's pleasing. He was most excellent in that film.
9:57pm: Bobby DeNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio arrive to present Martin Scorsese with the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Break time!
10:05pm: Marty is flanked by Leo and Bobby during the length of his speech, and they tower over him. They should have told those guys to vamoose once Scorsese was on his way up.
10:14pm: Ricky throws a haymaker at Mel Gibson's D.U.I. Give one thing to Gervais, he's not afraid.
10:16pm: The first shocker of the evening, James Cameron upsets Kathyrn Bigelow for Best Director. Still, The Academy will make sure she gets her due.
10:20pm: Glee finishes off the television categories with a win for Best Comedy / Musical. See you next year, TV!
10:28pm: The Hangover wins for Best Comedy. I had 500 Days of Summer, but the HFP struck a blow for populism and ticket sales. Hey, someone had to do it.
10:36pm: Sandra Bullock wins for Best Actress (Drama) for The Blind Side. She gave the best performance of her life, so I can't fault the call.
10:41pm: Robert Downey Jr. wins for Sherlock Holmes; he proceeds to take over the show. He's at the top of his game right now, only three years removed from Shaggy Dog. He would actually be a great host too... and since I got Ricky the gig last year... well, you hear what I'm saying?
10:43pm: Luke Wilson continues his crusade against Verizon. What happened there? Jilted lovers?
10:47pm: My man Jeff Bridges takes down a Golden Globe for his work in Crazy Heart. I really love J-Bridge, and he made Crazy Heart worth watching. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Can I get an Academy Award for him too? He's earned it.
10:55pm: This is it. Will Hurt Locker gain momentum? Will Avatar begin its coronation?
10:57pm: Wow. Avatar becomes the prohibitive favorite with a Best Picture win. Up in the Air and Hurt Locker's chances go on life support.
10:58pm: James Cameron tells the audience to give it up "for themselves." So here I am, clapping in my living room, for me.
11:03pm: That's it for me, folks. It's been fun. I'll be going back over the column tomorrow, adding in jokes, sharpening the content, so don't be a stranger now -- you hear?