Ever since Zombieland's impressive box office debut two weeks ago, I've been hearing a lot of chatter about how "that boy from Juno" was so funny fighting the undead alongside Woody Harrelson and company. Since I can't go around butting in to every random incorrect conversation I happen to overhear, I deemed it necessary to take to the interwebs to finally educate the masses on how to tell the difference between Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera. Let's start with the basics:
1. Eisenberg is a native of Queens, NY. Cera is Canadian. It's just a coincidence that their voices sound so similar. It's not a geographic thing.
2. Eisenberg is the one with the curly hair. If you're ever not sure which one is in the movie you're currently watching, taking a quick peek at the top of his head will give you an answer.
3. Cera got his start on the beloved, unjustly canceled cult classic FOX sitcom Arrested Development. Eisenberg got his start on the forgettable, totally justifiably canceled FOX sitcom Get Real.
4. In Zombieland, Eisenberg plays a nerdy guy who has an unlikely romance with the lovely Emma Stone. In Superbad, Cera plays a nerdy guy whose equally nerdy best friend has an unlikely romance with the lovely Emma Stone.
5. On Arrested Development, Cera played the awkward but ultimately sweet and surprisingly well-adjusted young son of the insane Bluth family. In The Squid and the Whale, Eisenberg played the awkward but ultimately creepy and damaged son of the insane Berkman family.
6. When The Squid and the Whale hit theaters in 2005, critics called Eisenberg Hollywood's most promising young everyman actor. Two years later, critics forgot that they'd already given this title to someone and re-gifted it to Cera.
8. For the past year, critics and audiences have been voicing concern that Cera seems to just keep playing the same type of role over and over again. Some of these people are erroneously using Zombieland as a point of reference in this argument. Ultimately, Cera is the one who is starting to get on people's nerves, and although Eisenberg's career may appear to be on the rise right now, if people keep confusing them he might be the guy who unjustly has to share some of the Michael Cera overexposure fallout.