Ranking The Rock Of Love Girls

The only thing that's more shameful than being addicted to the three different seasons of Poison front man Bret Michaels' dating show, Rock of Love, is the notoriety and "fame" that has been bestowed on several of the skanks who competed for his love.

We're not talking Angelina Jolie-type fame or anything, but VH1 loves resurrecting popular dating show contestants and placing them in other competition shows such as I Love Money (a co-ed contest to win money) and Charm School (a program that tries to teach scruples and manners to rough women from its dating shows).

rick of lovephotosMeet the Rock of Love girls

Here, we rank the top five notorious personalities that were rejected by Michaels, but not by VH1 or American TV viewers. And for fun, we've paired each lady with an applicable Poison hit.

5. "I Want Action" -- Brandi Cunningham

With a soft-spoken baby voice, Brandi captured attention by calling a scar on her face "a disability," calling her cat "a human," and stating that her breast implants were the best birthday present she'd ever received from her parents. After participating in what appeared to be a foursome with Bret, Lacey, and Heather, she was dismissed from the first season. But that wasn't the end of Brandi.

In addition to parts in I Love Money and Charm School, Brandi also went on to do an adult film under an alias. She's slated to have a role in Megan Hauserman's upcoming reality show Trophy Wife as well.

4. "Talk Dirty to Me" -- Lacey Connor

Not only did Lacey talk dirty to her fellow contestants, she played dirty as well. Of all the seasons' ladies, Lacey was the biggest back stabber, instigator, and villain that we've seen. She always promised to push other contestants to their breaking points, and was partially responsible for getting her "friends" kicked off the show by using personal information against them. Which is probably why she kept getting invited back to terrify contestants in subsequent seasons.

Lacey continued her reign of terror on Charm School, and even though she expressed (fake) remorse for devious actions, host Sharon Osbourne gave her the boot.

3. "Sexual Thing" --

Daisy de la Hoya


It's not like we've committed every ep from ROL2 to memory. But here's what I remember about Daisy's relationship with Bret: not much. The conversation was always vapid, and when Bret asked Daisy questions, she was about as coherent at Paula Abdul on Americal Idol. He'd complain about the mediocre chats with Daisy during his confessional monologues, but he'd always end them with, "but she's smokin' hot!" Even after she confessed she still lived in a one-bedroom apartment with her ex-boyfriend, Bret was able to overlook it.

Clearly, his big connection with her was in his groin.

Now that Daisy, her tattoos, and her scary plastic surgery have their own show, Daisy of Love, she is slightly more articulate but still boring. We still don't really understand why she, of all people, was the one to get a show.

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2. "Fallen Angel" -- Megan Hauserman

At first glance, lovely, angelic Megan seems like nothing more than an innocent blonde with a perfect body, a collection of bikinis and a few dozen brain cells. But after watching her on ROL, two installations of I Love Money, and Charm School, we all know better. She plays it cool with fellow competitors but is a master manipulator behind the scenes, using her body and/or innocent act to her advantage.

Her true colors always shine through, but usually after she's gotten pretty far in each competition. Now VH1 is giving her her own dating show, Trophy Wife, scheduled to air this summer. We expect her to show up with her tiny dog, a suitcase full of bikinis, and an evil little grin. Oh yeah, we'll be watching.

1. "Look What the Cat Dragged In" -- Heather Chadwell

We admit it: During the first season of ROL we thought it could get no worse than Heather. She was loud, obnoxious, skankalicious, and had the biggest hair we'd seen since 1987. Her idea of a classy evening gown involved cheap, pleather scraps of material that covered little more than what was required for TV. And she was stupid enough to get Bret's name tattooed across the back of her neck during a one-on-one date.

In the end, she didn't win Bret's heart, but the season one runner-up returned in subsequent seasons to help the rocker vet his new crop of women. Heather got into physical altercations with Daisy (during season two's finale show) and Brittanya (Rock of Love Bus). Of course, Heather was in I Love Money and Charm School, too.

And we confess: She's grown on us over time, if not simply for proving that there were tons more people more offensive than her. She was just warming us up for what was to come, and when they came, she wanted to kick their asses, too. Give Heather a show already!