The Verdict: Zac Efron Is Jonny Quest (Kind of) and the Lamest Transformers 2 Scoop Ever

Troy Bolton to Play Jonny Quest -- Except Not

The L.A. Times reports that Efron will play the 12-year-old adventurer from the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon. But apparently Warner Bros. is thinking of tossing the Quest name altogether, afraid that the stink of Speed Racer's failure will stick to anything even remotely connected to old Saturday morning shows. Which kind of misses the point. If they don't use the name, and they change the character to a 22-year-old, isn't it just Jimmy Thrillseeker and the Diamond Hightops, or whatever they decide to call it?

Verdict: From High School Musical to 17 Again to a kid who hangs with his dad -- Zac needs to play a troubled Iraq vet or a street hustler if he doesn't want to end up the Robby Benson of the 2010s. Who's Robby Benson, you ask? Exaaactly.

"Michael Bay Reveals Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Running Time"

That's an honest-to-god headline from Wow, there are so many possibilities. It could be 98 minutes -- or maybe 110! How about 107? Here's the money quote, from Bay himself: "It's four minutes longer than the last one. So go figure it out." Um, I think I'll pass. Next breaking news from MTV: "Exclusive: Transformers 2 Has Giant Robots in It."

Verdict: Does anybody, anywhere care?

Megan Fox as ... She-Hulk?

A rumor recently surfaced at ComicBookMovie (h/t Cinema Blend) that Fox might be playing She-Hulk, who was created in 1980 to placate an all-important demographic: Female bodybuilder fans. After Bruce Banner volunteered to give his mousy cousin a blood transfusion, suddenly there were two big green things in the family. Except this one's kind of hot, and really not that popular.

Verdict: No way. Fox is already signed on for two different comic movies and however many more Transformerses they end up making. Besides, she's nowhere near buff enough to play the Hulk version, so she'd have to play the nerdy one, and no one wants that.

Seagal. Van Damme. Weapon. Retraction.

The publicity firm for a new production company recently set the Internet on fire with a huge piece of news: Seagal and Van Damme together for the first time, in a movie called Weapon. The Muscles from Brussels and the Ponytail from Michigan will finally play opposite each other as assassins fighting a drug cartel. Unfortunately, then they had to issue a retraction. Turns out the deal's not actually done. Whoops!

Verdict: I am so in. As long as one or both of them play their own twins and/or cyborgs.

The Golden Girls Go to Turkey

No, that's not the title of the Sex and the City sequel. Zing! Rather than just dubbing the '80s sitcom, Disney has sold the scripts to a Turkish production company that plans to cast local actors and film the episodes again. Is the Ankara audience really ready for old ladies calling each other sluts? Is the American audience, for that matter?

Verdict: This has international incident written all over it.