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Drew Barrymore: Fever Chart!

Drew Barrymore has one of the scariest careers in Hollywood history, but now she faces the actress's ultimate horror: she's 34.

Hey, if anyone can pull off a great last act, it's Drew, whose grandparents, great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents were famous actors. She's going to try to make her next act a class act, co-starring with Jessica Lange as Little Edie, the half-mad, showbiz-crazed recluse cousin of Jackie Onassis in the Maysles brothers' classic documentary Grey Gardens, now expanded into a new HBO extravaganza covering the crazy ladies' whole lives, including the sane part.

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It's the biggest crossroads Drew has faced since she got out of rehab at an age when most kids were getting braces. Famous as a lightweight presence in romantic comedies, she's going to have to establish herself as a for-real dramatic actor. A fun-loving social animal, she must give up at least some of her Sunset Strip nightlife to do some serious thespian homework. To become Edie, she has to change her whole image. As she told producers, "I promise you that I will change my face to be her. I will learn how to stop talking out of the side of my mouth ... I will give up my life for this, because I don't think you can play this character and have a social life and balance the two mentalities." She's already rich -- why is Drew working so hard? "I wanted to get scared again," she tells Elle.

We toast Drew, the little girl lost who pulled herself up by her own bootstraps, with our Film.com Fever Chart, which documents the highs and lows of our favorite celebrities. If you think we've left out any highs (or lows), sound off loud in the comments section below!

Not quite one year old, Drew does her first job, a dog food commercial. Temperature: 98.6 degrees

At 3, plays the daughter of drug-crazed William Hurt in the psychedelic melodrama Altered States. Compared to the altered states of her alcoholic junkie father John Drew Barrymore, who went barefoot for 40 years, and her alcoholic actor genius grandfather John Barrymore, Hurt's oft-stoned character was a piker. She saw a guy turn into a gorilla every night at home.Temperature: 99.7 degrees

At 7, plays Gertie in E.T. for her godfather, Steven Spielberg. Showing her first entrepreneurial flair, she talks Spielberg into letting her improvise her own background dialog. Like her movie playmate, Drew's career goes over the moon. Temperature: 398.6 degrees

Stars in two Stephen King horror movies, dives into a barrel of alcoholic fun at 9, then adds pot and cocaine. Stephen King becomes a drunken coke addict and rehab survivor too, but what took him years takes her months. Both King and Drew remain essentially workaholics. King has no memory of writing the bestseller Cujo (whose howling-dog monster is a metaphor for his habit); Drew wants only to forget howling dogs like Irreconcilable Differences. Temperature: 114 degrees

At 13, checks into rehab. Gets out and discovers that the only thing worse than being a former child actor in Hollywood is being a former addict actor. Instead of hiring her, people heckle her. Instead of limos, she takes buses. "I felt really upset when people felt sad for me. Like, 'Oh, wow, washed-up child actor having to work in a coffeehouse."Temperature: 1.86 degrees

Writes a hit autobiography, Little Girl Lost. It's a better story than any of her movies except E.T.. When life hands you a dad who puts your hand in a candle to punish you for protesting after he practices kung fu on you, and your mom auctions your childhood mementos on eBay, you have to make of it what you can. Drew decides to stop hating her parents, inspired partly by what her dad advised her in a moment of lucidity: "Don't carry around that stinky bag of s--t. Just kick it. Get rid of it. It stinks. Drop the bag, baby." Temperature: 109 degrees

Proves she's a good girl by playing bad girls in the bad movie Bad Girls and the better ones Poison Ivy and The Amy Fisher Story. Hollywood goes, "Hubbah-hubbah!" Even E.T. probably watches the naughty parts via satellite. His digit glows. Temperature: 115 degrees

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Turns down the lead role in Scream, giving Neve Campbell a break. She thought the supporting role would be more "fun." Gotta watch out for that fun, Drew. Temperature: 98.6 degrees

Strips in Playboy, jumps on David Letterman's desk and flashes her breasts. Godfather Spielberg sends her a quilt and a note: "Cover up." She won't. Lately, she says she likes to "park my car and run out into the field, rip all my clothes off and just run in the wheat fields naked."Temperature: 120.6 degrees

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Makes a star of Adam Sandler and remakes her image from sexpot to adorable ingenue in the $120 million hit The Wedding Singer. May not go to heaven for making a star of Adam Sandler. Temperature: 185 degrees

Hires a smart girl who used to work for Springsteen's sidekick Clarence Clemons, starts a movie company in her laundry room. Flower Films makes more than half a billion dollars' worth of hits, especially Charlie's Angels. Critic David Thomson calls it "one of the worst films she has ever made," but audiences beg to differ. Temperature: 298.6 degrees

Marries bar owner Jeremy Thomas for a month, then comedian Tom Green for a few months. Gets saved from death when her dog Flossie woke her up barking in the middle of the night after smelling smoke. Maybe Flossie was really trying to warn her about Tom Green. Divorces Green, rewards Flossie by letting her chew up Drew's pants, which Drew then washes and wears, admiring the frayed chew holes.Temperature: 122 degrees

Produces Donnie Darko, which grosses $727,883 but increases Drew's indie cred, more shredded than her pants thanks to Charlie's abysmal angels.Temperature: 123 degrees

People makes her the Most Beautiful People issue cover girl. Drew stars in the horrifying hit Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Gets more or less engaged to Mac TV ad star Justin Long. "My cheeks hurt, I'm so happy," says Drew. "She makes my cheeks hurt too," says Long. They split. "Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on," says Drew. Asked about the age difference between her and some of her beaux, she explains she's a "pre-cougar." Temperature: 124 degrees

As Grey Gardens prepares to remake her name (or not), Drew directs her first movie, Whip It!, starring Ellen Page as an indie-rock loving misfit roller derby queen, costarring Drew as "Smashley Simpson." Asked how she ever got through the stress of long nights directing, Drew says, "Caffeine." Temperature: 126 degrees

Got Fever Chart fever? Read more: Drew Barrymore: Fever Chart!, Britney Spears: Fever Chart!, Oprah Winfrey: Fever Chart!, Miley Cyrus: Fever Chart!, Reese Witherspoon: Fever Chart!, Lauren Conrad: Fever Chart!, and Denise Richards: Fever Chart!.

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