Is It Time to Put a Fork in Nicolas Cage?

The hell of it is, I actually like Nicolas Cage, half the time and in spite of myself. He's got that Movie Star It, that indefinable quality that makes you want to plunk down 10 or 12 bucks to see a movie. I still find myself liking him even while I'm enduring junk like Knowing, which is -- even grading on the "absurd movies Nicolas Cage has starred in" scale -- pretty absurd. I look at him running around trying to save the world from the scribbles of a third-grader and/or mysterious, angelic blond men-in-black types, and I think, Dude: What. The. Hell.

I mean, remember Peggy Sue Got Married? Remember Raising Arizona? Awesome. Remember Adaptation? Heck, Lord of War? Only Nic Cage's mother and I saw that movie, but damn, it was good.

God help me, but I even think he's kinda cute.

And I have to struggle not to remember Next. And National Treasure. And Bangkok Dangerous. But what do I know? Knowing kicked ass this past weekend. It didn't break any Nic Cage records -- you'd have to look to Ghost Rider's $45 million opening two years ago for that, and what does that say about the taste of the general movie-going public?

What I'm saying is: No one should listen to me for advice on his Hollywood career. Not if he's content to be the butt of jokes from the wiseass movie fan contingent that would like to see just a little more effort and intelligence on the part of our movie stars.

Otherwise ... Nic, dude, take a lesson from Matt Damon (or was it Ben Affleck?) in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: Do the studio film, and then do the art film. Throw us a couple bones once in a while. I mean: Lord of War was four years ago. Adaptation was seven!

We serious fans of yours need more. We need our gay serial killers on horses. It's only fair.


MaryAnn Johanson, not a frakkin' Cylon (email me)

Movie & TV Awards 2018