When Star Wars Tried to Kill Christmas
Verdict: If you haven't seen this, a visit to YouTube should be in your near future. You'll snort egg nog out your nose when Harrison Ford tells the Chewbaccas, "You're like family to me."
Looking for the Perfect Present? How About the Smell of Antonio Banderas?
Nothing says the holidays like the musky smell of a Spanish movie star. Believe it or not, Mr. Melanie Griffith has his own line of perfume and cologne, including "Spirit" for the ladies and "Antonio" for the gents.
Verdict: I guess if Britney Spears can do it, so can he. But I won't be splashing on "Diavolo So Sexy" any time soon.
The Return of The Crow
Stephen Norrington, who wrote the comic adaptations of Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, has signed on to write a new Crow movie. I liked the first Crow, but the series took a serious turn for the worse. And League was painful, burying all of the charm and magic of the Alan Moore comics under an avalanche of terrible CG effects.
Verdict: I'd like this to be good, but it doesn't sound promising.
The MST3K Gang Takes on Santa
Mystery Science Theater 3000 may be gone, but the original cast is still making fun of awful movies as Cinematic Titanic (h/t BoingBoing). Just in time for the holidays, they take on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, an epic piece of terribleness about what happens when the Martians kidnap Santa Claus. "Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre." I'm in!
Verdict: MST was one of the best shows on television, so their comeback is great news. Now if I can only get them to do Transformers.
Disaster Movie the Worst of the Year?
The Times of London recently published their list of the 100 worst movies of 2008, with Disaster Movie taking the top (bottom?) spot, and Meet the Spartans, Never Back Down, First Sunday, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars rounding out the top five. (Choice quote, from the Spartans review: "Barely a movie, more a barf of total idiocy.")
Verdict: Wow, there are so many to choose from! But yeah, Disaster Movie is probably the worst, though I'd put Leatherheads way higher than 87.
Ready for Terminator 4? How About 5?
The Terminator reboot is still months away from theaters, but the follow-up was announced at the Dubai Film Festival. T4 director McG is signed on for number five, and Christian Bale is already contracted to do a sixth, if they get that far. (They will.)
Verdict: This is about as shocking as the news that they're making a Twilight sequel. The new Terminator series is going to be a license to print money, and they'll milk it as long as they can.