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O.J. Case in Jury's Hands

The O.J. Simpson sports-memorabilia case has concluded testimony and has been handed over to the jury.

Quote of the week goes to Clark County District Attorney David Roger in his closing arguments: "In the state of Nevada, we are a civilized society." Thanks for clearing that up, Champ. Because I did some things a couple years ago in the bathroom of rumjungle that left the civility of Nevada a little murky for me. Not, like, O.J.-Simpson-would-be-justified-in-stealing-sports-memorabilia-

from-me murky. Just, like, it's-gonna-hurt-to-pee-tomorrow murky.

Simpson and his co-defendent, Clarence Stewart, face life sentences if convicted.

Oh, please, Lord, I don't ask for much, and you totally failed on the pony thing, so it would be really awesome if O.J. could go to jail forever for this sort of crap after being acquitted of double homicide.

The Evil Beet

Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.

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