Thoughts Inspired by the Hancock Photo Gallery

This is sort of unfair because I've actually seen Hancock already. However, in the interest of disinformation I'm willing to take the journey on this one. We'll have a full review coming July 2nd when the film releases. Until then you'll have to make due with conjecture and deep thoughts re these Hancock pictures.

Note: We tried the same thing, with varying levels of success, for The Happening and Wanted. Feel free to go read those too; we're paid by the click around here!



Will Smith in Hancock

"I am good looking no matter what sort of silly face or hat they saddle me with. Just deal with it."



Charlize Theron in Hancock

"Hey Charlize, we've got this 'eye candy' role for ya. Interested?"



Will Smith in Hancock

If you look closely you'll see that Hooters just spent a couple hundred grand.



Will Smith in Hancock

"Quit wasting time, Will Smith -- we need another hit rap song for Hancock a la 'Wild, Wild, West' or 'Men in Black!'" Sidenote: isn't it crazy that those songs were giant hits? Alas, the '90s were a simpler time.



Will Smith in Hancock

"Here's the secret, kid -- pay attention. First off, ditch Jazzy Jeff. Yeah, it will hurt, but he's not being asked to star in sci-fi superhero films every July 4th, now is he? Next, don't ever play a villain, no matter how juicy the script. Heck, it worked for Hanks and Cruise, right? Finally, put your child in a film where you're both poor. It will humanize you. Then sit back and let the cash roll in. Viola!"



Will Smith in Hancock

"My closed off body language indicates that we're only a few minutes into the movie. Do you think there's any chance that my story arc will involve some sort of transformation towards a positive contribution to society? Hmmm, intriguing."



Will Smith in Hancock

Dear Jason Bateman,
Any chance you could just roll over this paycheck into some sort of Arrested Development film project? Thanks, that'd be great. Sincerely,
The Fans



That's all for now. Hancock opens nationwide on Wednesday. Check back then for our scathing and bitter review. It's going to be a blast.