MTV has to run something at 10:00 on Mondays while they give Lauren Conrad and company a chance to learn their lines and their lives, and for the next two months it's Legally Blonde: The Search For the Next Elle Woods, which aims to cast a new lead to replace the well-regarded Laura Bell Bundy in the Broadway cast of Legally Blonde. The best-known U.S. attempt at this sort of show, Grease: You're the One That I Want, was a massive failure on NBC, but MTV has lower expectations.
The host of the show is Haylie Duff, who has done a little work on Broadway but is best known as the big sister of Hilary, so Legally Blonde the series starts with a big strike against it. One might also question if the serious decision of casting for an expensive theatrical production is compatible with the usual reality show frills, but we can hope that a couple of ringers with talent will be evident, and that the comedians will rise to the surface once the drama queens are eliminated. Still, couldn't we have gotten four more weeks of The Paper instead?
Greek (ABC Family, 8 PM): The kids try out their new fake IDs prior to leaving for spring break, but Rusty faces some consequences; Casey's test preparation leaves her questioning her future.
Little People, Big World (TLC, 8 PM and 8:30 PM): At 8, Zach and Jeremy work on their swamp fort, but the project is derailed by a paintball war; at 8:30, a tribute to the bull mastiff Rocky, who never seemed so lovable as when he was injured.
Stanley Cup Finals (NBC, 8 PM): Call it Canadian Gladiators. Detroit could win it all tonight, so don't leave your car parked anywhere in southeastern Michigan if you can avoid it.
The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 PM): Two hours of emotional neediness tonight! The guys pay a visit to The Ellen DeGeneres show and show off the Ellen boxers they are wearing; and later go to a dude ranch, where the visit is marred by a fight. Also, Richard wins a one-on-one date with DeAnna, but is worried that she only likes him as a friend. Richard, I feel your pain.
Tribute to Sydney Pollack (TCM, 8 PM): The director-producer and occasional actor, who died last week, left behind 40 years worth of films. TCM will run four of them tonight beginning at 8:00 PM: The Slender Thread, Three Days of the Condor, Tootsie, and Jeremiah Johnson.
Heavyweights (Food Network, 8:30 PM): Stouffer's and Swanson's pioneered the concept of a frozen dinner in a box, but have adapted with the times.
Dirty Jobs (Discovery, 9 PM): A sink hole in Kentucky is turned into an unwelcome garbage dump; Mike finds that work at a wind farm is dirtier than it sounds.
Extreme Marksmen (History, 9 PM): Amazing feats of marksmanship include trick shooting and a demonstration by army snipers, who hit targets as far away as a mile.
I Survived (Bio, 9 PM): An ex-hospital employee shoots the woman who fired him; a man drives into a ravine after swerving to avoid a deer; a woman is kidnapped and tortured after a home invasion.
Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 9 PM): The elder Gosselins offer advice on discipline, always a concern with eight non-listeners running about.
20 Greatest Celebreality Fights (VH1, 9 PM): If you're wondering what "celebreality" means, it appears to be an adjective rather than a noun: a word denoting those who have gone on a VH1 reality show to trade on their former fame. The fights in this special also cover people only famous for being on VH1, such as the Flavor of Love women, who battled weekly.
Undercover Titanic With Bob Ballard (National Geographic, 9 PM): Ballard discovered the Titanic 23 years ago, but if I were in his position, I'd still be milking it too.
Unwrapped (Food Network, 9 PM): The wonders of canned foods -- though when it comes to Vienna sausages, the wonder is that any of them ever get sold, much less consumed.
Hidden Potential (HGTV, 9:30 PM): A couple wants a child-friendly home in a safer neighborhood, and a yard would be nice.
Miss Rap Supreme (VH1, 10 PM): Rapper WC pays a visit; things get confrontational as the end approaches.
The Mole (ABC, 10 PM): For the small number of fans who loved this show (at least in its first two editions without celebrities and with Anderson Cooper), the return of The Mole is as welcome as it is surprising. Maybe the audience has caught up with the show, which in 2001 likely seemed too slow-paced and cerebral for viewers conditioned to think all reality shows should be like Survivor. The first challenge in the premiere calls for players to step off the edge of a waterfall, which is just the right level of scariness for someone to plausibly refuse even if they're not the mole. Jon Kelley is the new host, and yes, I'm going to give him a chance.
Verminators (Discovery, 10 PM): A restaurant gets de-roached; a woman is plagued by bedbugs; the crew goes after one very persistent rat.
Life's a Trip (Travel, 11 PM and 11:30 PM): At 11:00, Andrew searches for his roots in Ireland (tell them to save a place for me at the pub, Andrew); at 11:30, he fulfills the dream of all golfers by visiting Scotland.