I blame Circus of the Stars. Do you remember this annual special, in which C-list celebrities would learn and perform a circus act? I am pretty sure that annual doses of this kookiness is the cause of my unreasonable giddy anticipation of any show involving celebrities doing cheesy activities in tacky costumes. I enjoy Dancing with the Stars, but I also ate up Skating with Celebrities and Celebrity Duets.
I was kind of hoping the WGA strike would spark a revival of Circus of The Stars. What better way to solve the problem of actors with nothing to do, and gaps in the television schedule? Sadly, it wasn't to be, but CBS has come up with something that might be just as good. Secret Talents of the Stars will debut next Tuesday for a seven week tournament. Secret Talents will feature a variety of stars performing talents with varying degrees of wackiness. Announced celebrities (and their talents) include:
- Clint Black doing stand-up comedy
- George Takei as a country singer
- Malcolm-Jamal Warner playing bass
- Marla Maples as a gymnast
- Sasha Cohen performing with Chinese gymnasts (she is very bendy)
- Wrestler Ric Flair salsa dancing
- Boxer Joe Frazier singing
- Bridget Marquardt (actress/model) doing trapeze work with Cirque du Soleil
- Mya tap dancing
- Danny Bonaduce (why, oh why?) doing a unicycle act
- Sheila E juggling
- Roy Jones, Jr. (another boxer) rapping
- Cindy Margolis doing a magic act
- Ben Stein dancing the jitterbug
Some of these talents are more hidden than others. Marla Maples danced and acted on Broadway before marrying Donald Trump, and gymnastics isn't a huge stretch from there. Likewise Sasha Cohen, whose career as a figure skater requires flexibility and athleticism similar to that of a gymnast, and who performed a contortion/gymnastics type number with the Stars on Ice tour this year. (Oh, I know, because I was there. Don't tell me that surprises you.) But there's nothing in George Takei's acting work to suggest an aptitude for crooning about pickup trucks.
Just as I root for the non-dancers on Dancing with the Stars, I hope the ultimate winner is a celebrity whose talent is the least like what they are most known for. Although the stars will be evaluated by a panel of judges, viewers will get to call in and vote for the winner.
If Secret Talents of the Stars is successful, it may become a regular series. Which celebrities would you most like to see display their hidden talents?
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Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she's not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.