They have been telling us that someone we never expected to see
again pops up in tonight's episode of
target="" _blank="">Lost(ABC, 9 PM). I'm assuming that
someone is Harold Perrineau as Michael, which isn't that hard to guess
considering he's been listed as a cast member all season long and we
still haven't seen him yet. See? This show isn't totally
We don't know if Michael is part of the Oceanic Six or not, but that
last mystery crash survivor is scheduled to be revealed tonight. Also,
Sun wants to move to Locke's side, so Juliet tells Jin his wife will be
in danger if she remains both on the island and pregnant, and Sayid and
Desmond meet the captain of the freighter. I hope we also see Charlotte
whack someone else on the head. She's tougher than she looks.
Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp (VH1, noon and
9 PM): I'm not sure in what way this "boot camp" is supposed to be any
more grueling than any other season of this show, but that's how they
are billing it. Eight celebrities -- including a "Nick Nolte's younger
brother"-looking Willie Aames and all-time tool Dustin Diamond -- join
Harvey Walden as the pounds and good taste melt away.
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC American, 8
PM): Season finale: Ramsay heads back to the Fenwick Arms to see if
overworked owner Brian has stuck to the simplified menu he laid out,
but he finds the situation worse than ever.
Smallville (CW, 8 PM): Pete Ross, now a
roadie for the band One Republic (gag), chews gum laced with kryptonite
and acquires superpowers; Lex finds out and tries to blackmail Pete
into helping him.
Micronesia (CBS, 8 PM): The fake Immunity Idol that Ozzy
created a couple of weeks ago gets discovered tonight. Also, the widely
aired previews seem to indicate that Jonathan Penner runs into some
serious issues as a result of the puncture wound he received last week.
I know from personal experience that infections like that can be a
major problem, even if you aren't living in filth on an island.
Carter Can (HGTV, 8:30 PM): We hear so much
about men needing their own "lair" in the home, but don't wives deserve
one too? Carter and his team set out to build one.
American Chopper (TLC, 9 PM): An assignment
for Klipsch Audio is put in jeopardy due to a shortage of qualified
help at Orange County Choppers.
Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9 PM): The
candidates have to build and sell a new sandwich for a major chain.
This is the highly touted "Omarosa-free" episode. Such a good idea that
it makes one wonder why they just didn't go all out and do an
Reaper (CW, 9 PM): The first new episode of
this funny little diversion in over three months finds Sam, the Devil,
and the rest of the gang on Thursdays. Sam tries to stop a hack
musician from selling his soul to the Devil in exchange for success,
and Sock is none too pleased to find his mother has returned from Las
Vegas with a new husband.
Who Knew? With Marshall Brain (National
Geographic, 9 PM): A new series that examines the (they would have us
believe) fascinating way that everyday objects are constructed.
Speedboats, golf balls, and fireworks are covered this week. Not a bad
idea, but it sounds awfully similar to the Science Channel's How Do
They Do It?, which comes on right after this show ends.
In Treatment (HBO, 9:30 PM): Everybody on
this show has daddy issues! Amy begins talking about her father's death
and has a surprising revelation for Jake in the process.
Celebrity Rehab (VH1, 10 PM): This 90-minute
reunion show, minus the relapsed Jessica Sierra and the jerk Daniel
Baldwin, covers how everyone has coped since the end of the process.
Eli Stone (ABC, 10 PM): Eli helps Maggie in
a malpractice suit against an anesthesiologist who works at Nathan's
hospital; a vision finds Eli chased by a dragon; Eli and Taylor see a
George Michael concert, for real.
LA Ink (TLC, 10 PM): The other artists have
had it with Pixie's so-so management, forcing Kat to make a decision
about her future.
Lipstick Jungle (NBC, 10 PM): Victory
wonders if her new investor has an ulterior motive; Nico accompanies
Wendy on a trip to Scotland to meet a major author.
Make Me a Supermodel (Bravo, 10 PM):
Apparently, Perry's girlfriend has been in the tabloids, which is sort
of hard to believe considering Perry himself wouldn't seem famous
enough to rate tabloid coverage even after being on TV for the last two
months. Does the girlfriend work for the Emperor's Club? On the actual
show, either Ben, Ronnie, or Casey will go home, and everyone else will
head to New Orleans to do some charity work and participate in a
cemetery photo shoot.
Naked Science (National Geographic, 10 PM):
Tonight's episode explores theories about how life began. One thing we
do know: whatever the first living thing was, it sat down for an
interview with Larry King.
Ace Of Cakes (Food Network, 10:30 PM): Mount
St. Mary's University is celebrating its 200th anniversary, and there's
no better way to celebrate such an occasion than with a cake shaped
like a clock tower. Think about that when your tuition goes up 10% next
House Hunters (HGTV, 10:30 PM): A newlywed
couple in Nashville is ready to give up apartment life.
Lil' Bush (Comedy Central, 10:30 PM): OK,
I'm calling for a moratorium on Kevin Federline cameos, even if they're
only voiceovers (he plays Lil' Karl Rove). The joke, like K-Fed
himself, is badly played out.