Gleaning the Ice Cube - Part II

But it's not all sunshine and lollipops for this bad boy-turned-Hollywood actor. It can't all be Friday and Three Kings, right?

The Players Club:

They let Ice Cube write and he turned out the screenplay for Friday. So why not let him direct, right? Right? That's a mistake that, thankfully, was only made once. I'm beginning to think I should revisit this. When I saw this, upon its initial release, this film was filled with a bunch of unknowns. People like Bernie Mac, Faizon Love, Terrence Howard, and Jamie Foxx. All together in a strip club movie. It almost might be fun to watch for the awkwardness of it. Almost.

All About the Benjamins:

I nominate this as the most truthful title of a film ever made. This could have only been for the money. The only way to make it even more truthful would be to have called it "95 minutes you won't remember much of by morning."

Torque:

Movies this bad don't happen by accident; they happen by design. A heady mix of Budweiser commercials, rap videos and probably copious amounts of uppers – this is The Warrior if the warriors had all ridden motorcycles and been wussies. Throw in one of the most bizarre fight scenes ever made (that can only be described by fusing the words Bike and Fu) and you get one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Except for the moments they were trying to be funny.

xXx: State of the Union:

The new xXx couldn't be another snowboarder or biker. He had to have more attitude. And apparently an even less cohesive script than before. This is one of the most ridiculous movies I have ever seen, and that's saying something. In my dreams I like to imagine a film worse than this – when they decide they need a xXx with even MORE attitude, but one that can't back it up this time: Vanilla Ice is in xXx 3: State of the Industry!

Are We There Yet?:

With the destruction of his gangster street tough image and his path to the dark side complete, Cube moved on to completely unfamiliar territory: the family film. Take away his hardcore image, his drug references and strong language and his penchant for off-color humor and what do you have left? This festering turd of a movie. Here's another question: What's worse than watching a counter culture hero turn into a sad shell of his former self on screen? Watching him make a sequel to it.

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me