Desperate Housewives: Tornado Cleanup

When we last visited Wisteria Lane, Edie and Gabby had bonded after Edie let Gabby and Carlos’ offshore bank account info blow away; Mike’s addiction had reached the breaking point and he went off to rehab; Victor got skewered by a fence; and Lynette’s family was buried under the remains of Mrs. McCluskey’s house.

This week’s show opened with the aftermath of the tornado, and rescue crews trying to get to the Scavos and Ida Greenberg. Lynette’s family all walked out, but Ida didn’t make it. Well, that’s kind of boring, isn’t it? We don’t even get any scenes at the hospital where one obnoxious twin might not make it? Also? What happened to the cat? Obviously, none of the writers are animal lovers.

Massive cleanup started all over Wisteria Lane. Kayla Scavo found Sylvia Green (the lady from Chicago that Adam had the affair with) dead in a tree. And even though she was no longer a threat, Katherine booted Adam out of the house anyway. Dylan was upset to be left alone with Katherine. Adam discovered aunt what's-her-name’s note on the floor (right next to the gouge mark that I am still dying to know about). He confronted her with the contents of the note, but not in such a way that would let us know what it was all about. Dammit! Frustrating! But Dylan heard the whole thing and salvaged the contents of the note from the fireplace.

Lynnette and Mrs. McCluskey went through Ida’s house, and Lynette discovered that Ida played in the league of their own, and her ashes are going to be scattered at the baseball field. Parker came over to help and revealed that Ida made the kids go under the stairs, thus saving their lives, but there wasn’t room for her under there with them. Her niece and nephew were only interested in her valuables, and didn’t want to take the time to scatter the ashes at the baseball field (and wouldn’t let Lynnette do it). So naturally, Lynnette swapped the contents of the urn with the stuff from the vacuum canister. Lynnette couldn’t get permission from the field, either, so she and Mrs. McCluskey had to break in at night. They got caught and Lynette scattered the ashes while being chased by security.

Bree, Orson and the baby went to stay with the Meyers, providing some opportunities for comic relief. Bree’s contractor got dumped and was too distraught to complete the project, so she decided she would have to find somebody to fix him up with in order to get him back on the job. But not before completely Martha Stewarting Susan’s house. She sent Susan and Julie upstairs to treat Walter, the sad gay contractor, for dinner. So she could fix him up with ANDREW. Inappropriate! Susan and Julie, enjoying the extra fancy built-in housekeeper, plotted to undermine Bree’s plan.

Gabby and Milton Lang discussed Victor’s will at his funeral, and that was where he informed her that she’s not getting anything. It turns out none of the family money was in Victor’s name, anyway. Then Milton kicked Gabby out of the funeral. It’s kind of fun to watch Mike “B.J. Honeycutt” Farrell play mean.

Also, she hadn’t told Carlos about the bank info flying away yet, so she had to break that news to him in the hospital (with the fortunate aid of pain meds). Since the accountant was killed in the tornado, there won’t be a way to retrieve the money. She tried to get the info out of the grieving widow at the funeral, and ended up going through his files at the funeral, getting caught, of course. It doesn’t matter anyway, because everything dealing with offshore accounts was shredded. They agreed that they’ll be fine if they have each other, but it also turns out that Carlos is blind and hasn’t told Gabby yet. That’ll be interesting.

* * *

Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she's not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.