The SAG awards just might be the only "true" awards show we get this year - free of the picket lines and stocked full of stars. With that in mind we had to roll with a live diary. For if not now... when? (Note: All times PST)
4:51 PM: Do you think if you win a SAG award (called THE ACTOR) and then go home and tell your mom she's all like, "Oh, that's great hon!" because she doesn't know what it is? Yeah...me too.
5:25: I've decided to sport my hair long like Michael Cera. In the store, as I was buying Snickers Ice Cream Bars, I got a few looks. So watch out WORLD!
5:35:The SAG Awards 2008: Please everyone, show up! You're allowed to!
5:50: We've got the E! coverage going...yay!
5:55: So I've figured it out: If you arrive two hours early to the SAGs you are: 1.) Someone who won a contest or 2.) Really, really, really non-famous.
5:57: We are seconds away from Seacrest. I can feel it.
6:00: Seacrest is OUT!!!! Can you believe it? He called in sick. That's where we're at people. Dudes who make millions of dollars off stuff like this staying home instead. That's just awesome.
6:03: Jay Manuel just broke down the fashion for us saying, "Transparent neutrals are IN." Oddly enough, that's what I'm sporting tonight.
6:04: I am still reeling from no Seacrest. I mean, he was my ace in the hole as far as comedy goes. Making fun of this other E! chick isn't fun for anyone. Because no one knows who the hell she is.
6:06: Christina Applegate! She was in the hit comedy Married with Children back in 1989.
6:07: My bet is that they will get this thing settled by Oscar time... but what if they don't? Can you imagine if this is some poor actor's big moment? That would be sad.
6:12: Where does E! find their zany video coverage? They must have interns working around the clock. No sleep interns, we need three seconds worth of CHUCKLE!
6:15: They've got this weird high heel cam, where they have the girls put their foot on this mat, and there is a camera. What we've learned so far: Amanda Bynes has a GIANT big toe.
6:16: Jenna Fischer joins us, fresh off of breaking her back. No joke there, she really broke her back. See? We give you information too.
6:20: If TGI Friday's is offering you a three-course meal for $13 what do they make the food out of? Styrofoam?
6:25: I wish just once the interviewer would be like, "Hey, I've never seen your show. Is it any good?"
6:26: Kristen Stewart looks pissed to even be there. I feel like she and I could hang. She was great in Yellow Handkerchief - a film I saw at Sundance that you should be able to see around 2011.
6:28: Debra Messing becomes the 42nd person in a row to comment on it not raining. I shoulda live - diary'd the Weather Channel.
6:42: Tina Fey is on the red carpet. She's around 400x smarter than the interviewer. I expect her to just rub this chick on the head and say, "It's okay honey, you're doing great!"
6:53: Nicollette Sheridan was just told she had the "most rockin' bod ever." Wow. Ummmm. No. We need Seacrest back STAT.
7:00: They just asked Sandra Oh when the strike is going to end. That's like asking me how to make a souffle.
7:01: As far as I can tell the entire cast of Desperate Housewives was told to be there two hours early for face time. Any later than that and their seat would be given away to "real" actors.
7:10: Javier Bardem in the mix. He should be allowed to skip this. He's that good. Or, alternatively, he should be permitted to murder someone from E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:11: I love me some Bardem. He's killing this interview. He just mentioned his family in Spain isn't watching because "they don't have this channel" and "It's quite late there." Classic.
7:35: Don't tell anybody but Cate Blanchett is pregnant. Scoop!
7:48: Glenn Close, according to her, has worked with some amazing people. Also she drinks vampire blood. That's an E! exclusive.
8:02: They are starting the night with Taittinger Champagne, we're starting it with Red Stripe Beer. We're NOT actors.
8:02: Yes, it's the "I'm AN ACTOR" start... this is the best tradition in Hollywood.
8:03: The reason this is so horrible is that it makes acting seem more important than teaching, firefighting, and nursing combined. I can't get enough of it.
8:04: Hi. I sit around in my boxer shorts and don't shower for days. I get paid for writing about Hogwarts. I'm Laremy Legel and I'm a WRITER.
8:05: The SAG has 120,000 members?? That's like an ARMY.
8:07: James Gandolfini wins the first "Actor" of the evening.
8:08: Did you know The Sopranos was off the air? Yep. The finale was around 18 months ago. You might have heard something about it.
8:13: Edie Falco wins and The Sopranos keeps rolling. She mentions it's a "transient" business and she hopes that all actors can have an experience like this in their life. Yep, it's just actors loving actors around here.
8:17: The hit TV show Bones is on TNT. You guys watch that one? Nah, me either.
8:20: Here's what SAG wants you to know: SAG RULZ!
8:21: The Closer is nominated every year. TNT shows the SAGs every year. I'm not saying to two are related... I'm just saying is all.
8:23: The Sopranos wins again. Three for three. I hope they aren't competing in any of the movie categories.
8:23: Around 800 people are on stage to accept. Let's pray they weight tested that thing.
8:24: Can I share with you why I think this show is winning? I think it's because the show is over. No, I'm serious. What I'm saying is this: I'm not sure this has anything to do with how good anything is.
8:29: Javy Bardem wins for supporting and I'm digging it. Nice job SAG.
8:31: If the person who wins "The Actor" doesn't face the statue the right way then we all get a nice full moon. Thanks SAG!
8:39: Tina Fey takes one home and she mentions the WGA in a non-tacky way. This is why we love her folks. Just try and be human out there and you too can win the admiration of others.
8:42: Alec Baldwin takes the next one home. He's too big to show up to the SAGs. Can't hate on him for that.
8:46: The Office wins for comedy and I can't really object there either. I watch it. I loved the BBC original but there is a place in my heart for this one too. Jenna Fischer speaks and is her usual lovable self. C'mon guys, more awkward stuff. Let's keep this thing rolling.
8:56: Dennis Leary is here for the lifetime achievement: Charles Durning. You may remember him from World War II.
8:57: No seriously.
9:00: From what I can tell everyone told Durning to quit the business. He didn't. I guess once you've landed on Omaha everything else is sort of a lay-up.
9:04: Fella won a Silver Star too. That's serious business. Gotta give my boy a pass on any shenanigans.
9:06: How did they fit 120,000 actors in one place?
9:15: Juno purchased every ad available. They've already made $100m at the box office but why not pile on?
9:20: Mickey Rooney just begged for a standing ovation. That's just sad.
9:21: It's weird to think that Andy Rooney is his son.
9:21: I love when they give away the mini-series awards. No one has ever seen them, no one ever will; yet we all act like it's important. It's like rewarding postage stamps. Why bother?
9:36: Blair Underwood introduces his 18th SAG infomercial of the night ending with "WE ARE THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD." I think he's trying to step to me. You trying to step to me Blair?
9:47: Juno ad time. That's a quirky flick. Full of quirk that one is.
9:48: Stay tuned for an episode of The Closer right after the SAGs are over! No seriously. Hey guys, where you going? I got The Closer coming up!
9:50: Daniel-Day-Lewis wins. Yeah, that's right, I'm throwing in another - because I feel like it. You can't just throw - in to your name willy-nily and think you're going to get away with it.
9:52: Day-Lewis is wearing the pirate hoop earrings. I'd never mention that to his face of course. I saw him in Last of the Mohicans.
9:54: Lewis dedicates his award to Heath Ledger, a classy move from a classy guy. Good on ya, Daniel.
9:56: Julie Christie wins and I have no initial comment having not seen the movie.
9:57: For the record if all of SAG had seen the movie it should have made a LOT more money at the box office.
9:58: Why is it so wonderful to receive an award from your own union? Wouldn't it be better to receive one from me? I think it would. The Laremy goes to... Keira Knightley, just because!
10:00: Tom Cruise is here to give out the big one.
10:01: I'm happy No Country for Old Men took it. That's a worthy movie. I can cheer for that one. I named it my #2 movie of the year. I'm on Team Coen.
10:02: The rest of y'all, the Juno people, the Clayton people, the There Will Be Blood folk... well, you've been warned. It's on. It's so on.
10:03: That's a wrap! Six hours later I'm super duper tired.
10:05: To all who made it this far: I salute you. See you for the Oscars (hopefully).