Unwed mothers are the new black.
Lily Allen and her boyfriend, Chemical Brother Ed Simons, 37, are reportedly expecting.
Can these people not afford condoms?
Forget about having rubbers in the high schools; we need to have condoms in the Nickelodeon green room and under the bleachers at TRL.
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE: When he says he's just going to put the tip in, two things are pretty certain:
1) You risk getting pregnant
2) You're going to end up giving him head anyway
HEED MY WORDS.
Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.