The Reality Week In Review

Were you busy last week pestering 9-1-1 operators, screaming bloody murder, or getting busted for pot? If so, you may be behind in all of the news related to the crazy world of reality television. Where can you get caught up? Right here of course.

Hands down, the biggest news of the last week has been the announcement that Big Brother will be coming back sooner rather than later. Because of the writers' strike, all of the big networks have been scrambling to fill the time slots that will be blanked later this season and next year. Early in the week, rumors began to swirl around online that Big Brother would be making a comeback in possibly a celebrity edition this coming February. On Thursday, Robyn Kass, the casting director for Big Brother, confirmed on her Myspace blog that the early return of BB was definitely not a rumor. Thankfully though, it appears that it won't be a celebrity version. I'm super excited about BB coming back early: I just want no twists. Do you hear me, Allison?

"Bad boys bad boys, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you?" Certainly you know what long-running reality television series those song lyrics belong to. Currently in its 20th season, Cops aired its 700th episode this last Saturday night. The show began airing way back in March 1989 and, along with The Simpsons and Married With Children, helped make the FOX television network what it is today. I highly doubt that any of you reading this hasn't watched a single episode of the show. I find myself tuning in every Saturday evening when I can to watch the parade of hookers, druggies, and cross-dressing truckers because it's entertaining. Is that guy really going to try to outrun the police? Did she really just slap him in front of the police officer? It's crazy stuff and I love to watch every single minute of it.

In more Dog drama, the famous bounty hunter appeared on FOX's Hannity and Colmes Tuesday. He said he thought he was "cool enough in the black world" to be able to use the "n" word and apologized to the world. In even stranger news his son's girlfriend, who was the object of the "discussion," plans to sue Dog for slander. Doesn't that woman have an attorney? Here's a breakdown in case you're confused: Dog talked with son Tucker in a couple of private phone conversations; Dog called her son's girlfriend names; Tucker sold a recording of the conversations to the National Enquirer; the magazine released the audio; and now the girlfriend wants to sue Dog. Gimme a break!

The last person booted from Survivor, Jean-Robert Bellande, gave a fantastic interview to Reality TV World. He says he still loves the strategy he used and doesn't want Todd to win. Shocking isn't it? He would like to see James or Denise win it. Me too! If you're a fan of Beauty and the Geek (and I know that many of you are), John and Natalie gave a hilarious interview where it seems John was having a little technical difficulty. They seem like a couple of really sweet people and said they had a good time on the show. Sarah Hartshorne, the last girl eliminated in America's Next Top Model gave an utterly boring interview explaining the plus-size thing on the show and losing those three-and-a-half pounds. Ari & Staella, the first team eliminated on The Amazing Race, revealed they have always been huge fans of the show and pass out their Myspace links.

Let's wrap things up now shall we? Marie Osmond's father was buried; Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a second son; Bettina was sent packing on The Bachelor; and some people will shell out the big bucks to get cast on a reality TV show. Hell's Kitchen will return in April; American Idol is now in its early Hollywood round; Stella McCartney makes a one-legged pendant in honor of her ex-stepmother; and Billy Ray Cyrus gets his own reality TV show. Nick Hogan was arrested; Lauren and Heidi might be friends after all; Jennie Garth is comfortable in her skin; and Rick Sadler from Family Plots had his funeral director's license revoked.

That's it for this week folks! Try to take some time out of your busy schedules and phone or email the Writers Guild of America and thank them for the early return of Big Brother. Until next time, ladies and gents.

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HamsterDame's blogs: Silly Reality and Silly Hamsters.