Survivor: What Did I Tell You About the Hugging?

Well, it’s Survivor: China, so how surprised are you that this week’s reward challenge involved giant chopsticks? Subtle. At least everybody kept their pants on.

For some reason, Fei Long decided to kidnap Dave when they won the challenge. He’s unlikely either to make it to the merge so that he can be lured over, or to give them much good information about Zhan Hu. Also, he seemed to want to hug everybody, which was kind of weird. Picking Dave turned out to be a good move for Todd, at least, as Dave ended up giving him the clue. Now he’s got two, since Leslie shared her clue with him. I tell you, I think that tiny little man has what it takes to win this thing.

With Ashley gone, Dave had been having some conflicts with Sherea. Zhan Hu’s camp was a little more peaceful with Dave at Fei Long, but they also started to notice how much more work there was without him around. Uh oh... I don’t like Dave, but Sherea did not endear herself to me by declaring that she was going to try to get by without doing any work. People who don’t do their share around camp are my biggest Survivor pet peeve.

Jean-Robert revealed his hidden Chinese language skills by conversing with the little kids of the family who came to teach them how to fish. Aw, that was kind of sweet, actually. Too bad he had to ruin it later by speaking English again. The family shows them a crazy fishing technique involving birds -- they tie the birds’ throats so they can’t swallow, then send them into the water to catch the fish. That was wild. I’d never heard of anything like that before. Probably not too much fun for the birds, though. Denise was just adorable praising the food. (“That was just the delicatest thing I’d ever had.”) I kind of love her. And her mullet.

The cavalcade of Chinese culture exploitation continued in the immunity challenge, where the Survivors had to wear Chinese armor and break vases. In the end, Fei Long continued to take back their early winning streak. Tribal for Zhan Hu came down to a decision between annoying (Dave), and lazy (Sherea). Which is worse? Annoying, apparently, and somewhere at CBS a pixel guy breathes a sigh of relief.

Next week, the dual adorablenesses of Erik and Jaime converge. But not in a dirty way, as Erik is evidently a virgin. What is this, Seventh Heaven?

* * *

Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she's not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.

Movie & TV Awards 2018