It's Beauty Versus Zombie This Weekend

Once again, it's a weekend battle of head-to-head stars. In this corner, we have one of Maxim's all time "it" girls and all around mega beauty Jessica Alba. And in this corner we have the current "it" monster, the zombie. You know the rules. Let's drop the cage. Two performers enter! One leaves!

In the box office this weekend: Winner = Zombie

Really, this one is too close to call. Part three of a pretty poorly received video game adaptation trilogy versus a comedy that apparently wasn't funny enough to release in the summer. When in doubt, I always go for the sequel or the horror movie, and Resident Evil: Extinction is both. But neither seem to be blowing people's skirts up.

In the critical arena: Winner = Alba

Look, critics love Alba for her beauty and that has always allowed them to turn a blind eye to the fact that she doesn't have a lot of range. But Resident Evil as a series has NEVER been known for its acting. I think no matter how critics respond to Good Luck Chuck, they'll spare Alba a few kind words, just in case they ever meet her.

In their careers: Winner = Alba

Zombies may be around forever, but as a fad they come and go. And whether zombie fans want to admit it or not, the zombie phenom has peaked and is headed into the downward slide. Alba, on the other hand, is still on her way up.

In a fight: Winner = Zombie

Brains. Alba has them, zombies want them, and if history has taught us anything it is that one zombie means a horde of zombies. Jessica can summon all the Maxim fanboys she wants, the zombies will devour them all.

Winner = Alba

Come on. If you had to choose between Jessica Alba and a zombie, wouldn't you choose her too? Yeah. Thought as much.


C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me

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Austin-based Cargill, who not only loves but owns The Cutting Edge, writes on movies and DVD five times a week.