Why I Can't Wait to See Resident Evil: Extinction

It is the third film in a series that has never been referred to as a critical darling. It not only lacks the director of the first two, but that director has been replaced by someone considered by the critical elite to be even less of a talent. And it's about zombies at the end of the world. It is Resident Evil: Extinction. And I don't believe that there is a person in the world over the age of 13 that believes it is going to be any good whatsoever. So why am I smiling?

Because it is a movie about zombies at the end of the world directed by a cinematic one-hit wonder and is part three of a truly crap-tacular series. If this doesn't scream midnight movie at a downtown cinema, nothing does.

Look, just about any movie can be enjoyed if you go into it with the right mindset – and I don't just mean going in wanting to like it. I mean "the right mindset." Every movie sets out to do something different. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes they fail spectacularly. Few know this better than director Russell Mulcahy, whose claim to fame is being a one hit wonder that kept trying again and again. His one hit? Highlander. Oh yeah. The little midnight movie that could. One of my deep fried faves. But his follow-ups? How about Highlander 2? The Shadow? Ricochet? The Real McCoy? Blue Ice? There are SWAT team robots that have handled fewer bombs than this guy.

But when he fails, he fails BIG.

And this time he's taking on Milla Jovovich versus a mess of zombies in a post-apocalyptic desert. Dear lord, how that sounds like something I have to chomp popcorn to in the loudest, chattiest theater in town. It sounds like a movie that begs to be watched on video with a case of beer and some good friends. It sounds like a movie I could talk about over dinner with Joe Bob Briggs. Yeah. You could say it sounds like a good time.

Okay, so you could say my expectations are low for this one. But I consider it more of a high/low. If it turns out this is actually good, it'll instead feel GREAT and catch me completely by surprise. If it's total crap, I'll hoot and holler and cheer with the best of them. I want them to kill a few zombies, throw out a few bad one-liners and make sure to go REALLY over the top trying to make Milla look like a badass. But please, please, please, please. Don't be boring. Don't just kind of suck. If you're gonna suck, suck spectacularly. I'm looking at this, and that's the vibe I'm getting. I'm gonna go call some friends. This is what Friday nights were made for.

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me


Austin-based Cargill, who not only loves but owns The Cutting Edge, writes on movies and DVD five times a week.