Honestly this is a huge cheapshot... but what the hell, I haven't written for the Beet in weeks and I know everyone misses my particular brand of spite. How do I know? Letters... telegrams.. and that one airplane skywriting message that truly went above and beyond.
ENGLEWOOD, Fla. (AP) — Alec Baldwin wants Floridians to be more aware of the plight of manatees. The actor and producer has recorded two 30-second public service announcements for the Save the Manatee Club. The animals are on the federal endangered species list and at risk of being seriously injured or killed by boat strikes.
I really don't have a joke other than to say that Manatees have done their level best, via evolution, to go extinct. They swim around two miles per hour, on the surface of the water, and they weigh a jillion pounds each. So motor boats pick them off like deer on a highway. Also, they are also called "sea cows" - I think, so this is totally not a jab at the Manatee by this guy. If it were up to me I'd ban motor boats and the beer guzzling yahoos that pilot them.
It's actually all kind of sad, and I imagine if the manatee were cuter it would get starlets excited about saving it. As it stands it only gets a gravelly voice guy who occasionally loses his temper on the phone.