Head to Head: Matt Damon versus All Comers

Once again, it's a weekend battle of head-to-head stars. In this corner, we have Jason Bourne himself, Matt Damon. And in this corner we have EVERYONE ELSE. All comers are welcome in this no holds barred battle. You know the rules for this battle royale. Let's drop the cage. Many men enter! One man leaves!

In the box office this weekend: Winner = Matt Damon

Puh-Leaze. Jason Bourne versus what? Underdog? Hot Rod? Bratz? The Bourne Ultimatum is part three of a well loved action series and is the only film with a following strong enough to climb to the top this weekend. End of story.

In the critical arena: Winner = Matt Damon

No, he's not going to get a lot of comments about his acting in this film, although no one will complain that he's bad. But the film is aces and not only lives up to, but pretty much exceeds the other films. Even though the series was never a critical darling, it was well liked enough to earn respect as a solid action series. Being better than its predecessors is going to win it mucho brownie points. Oh, yeah. And the critics are all going to play hop on pop with Bratz. It's pretty much the stinkiest of the summer. Everything will look like solid gold next to that polished turd this weekend.

In their careers: Winner = Matt Damon

He's a great actor. He's an action star. He's prominent in not one, but two high grossing trilogies. And he's one of the funniest actors on the planet. The man ad libs like nobody's business and it is impossible to watch one of his self-deprecating interviews and not like the guy. He'll be working and selling tickets well into his 60's. Jason Lee (Underdog) might do fairly well, and I think Andy Samberg has a very bright future. But neither will be as A-list as Damon. Oh. And I hope to never, ever, ever see anyone from Bratz ever again. And that goes for all of the actors in Bratz except Jon Voight. I just like to imagine he needs the money to spoil all of those adopted grandkids.

In a fight: Winner = Matt FREAKING Damon

Jason Bourne could not only beat everyone in the lineup this weekend, but he could do it all at once. Personally, I'd lay down a week's paycheck to see him clean house on the Bratz set. Does that make me a bad person? You wouldn't think so if you had to wake up early to see it like I did.

Winner = Andy Samberg

Meh. So I threw the kid a bone. We all know who the real winner is. This week's honorary recipient of the Almost as Legendary as Chuck Norris Award ? Matt. Freaking. Damon.

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me

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Austin-based Cargill, who not only loves but owns The Cutting Edge, writes on movies and DVD five times a week.