Big Brother: Predicting the Order of Eviction

It's that time again. And as everyone is still anxiously awaiting the start of the season I thought it would be fun to predict the winner, right here, right now. I know I've only got a seven percent chance of being right but I can't resist. Enjoy!

My predicted (most likely completely wrong) order of eviction:

MikeFirst Out: Mike

Occupation: Painting Contractor

From: Three Lakes, Wisconsin

Verdict: Wisconsin has never seen the sort of the people who will be released upon Mike. He'll get a boisterous few days and then an exit card.

KailSecond Out: Kail

Occupation: Business Owner

From: McKenzie Bridge, Oregon

Verdict: Owning a business is great in the real world, where ambition and leadership are valued. In the Big Brother world the ability to adapt is the most prized possession so my gut tells me she'll be frustrated. Also, people from Oregon are waaaay too nice!

CarolThird Out: Carol

Occupation: Student

From: Lawrence, Kansas

Verdict:If this is a "rivals" themed show Jessica would be the obvious guess as her enemy. Expect one of them to have the other evicted early.

JessicaFourth Out: Jessica

Occupation: Student

From: Haysville, Kansas

Verdict: Sadly, once vanquishing her foe Jessica will realize she's the only small town girl left. Bye bye Jessica.

ZachFifth Out: Zach

Occupation: Graphic Designer

From: Burbank, California

Verdict: Zach looks a little bit annoying. The smile is just too crazy. And as a graphic designer I see him being very in tune to "art" and very out of tune with "people."

JamekaSixth Out: Jameka

Occupation: School Counselor

From: Waldorf, Maryland

Verdict: At first glance it seems like working as a school counselor would prep you for Big Brother. Great listening skills, great awareness. However, I see Jameka getting caught playing the middle.

NickSeventh Out: Nick

Occupation: Former Pro Football Player

From: Kimball, Minnesota

Verdict: What does Nick do these days besides being a "former" football player? I see the kid from Kimball making some noise in the physical challenges but going down to more conniving types.

JoeEighth Out: Joe

Occupation: Receptionist

From: Chicago, Illinois

Verdict: Is the term receptionist still used? I think Joe will be one of the people everyone likes, but if he's as approachable as his picture suggests than he'll become a clearinghouse for gossip. And eventually he'll make the wrong enemy.

DickNinth Out: Dick

Occupation: Bar Manager

From: Los Angeles, California

Verdict: Is Dick the father of Daniele? That's the rumor. I think Dick will do better than people initially think, he'll be loud - but there will be a method to his madness. Bar managers know people, and this will get Dick within striking distance.

DustinTenth Out: Dustin

Occupation: Shoe Salesman

From: Chicago, Illinois

Verdict: Dustin is a good looking kid and the buzz is he might have a rival in Joe. Dustin is good enough to outlast all but one of the guys, but a group of united women will take him out as the game's final stages play out.

AmberFourth Place: Amber

Occupation: Cocktail Waitress

From: Las Vegas, Nevada

Verdict: I think having lived in Vegas is a distinct advantage. Sin City attracts all sort of lunatics, and the environment is continually changing. Plus Amber delivers drinks for a living, the "fun girl" type can go far in this game (as last year proved).

EricThird Place: Eric

Occupation: Talent Management Assistant

From: New York City, New York

Verdict: "Talent Management" includes dealing with the most fragile of egos. Plus NYC has probably thrown plenty of different situations at young Eric. He's not flashy, but I see him sneaking his way to the final three.

DanieleRunner Up: Daniele

Occupation: Waitress

From: Huntington Beach, California

Verdict: She'll use every trick in the book. The problem is those tricks will come back to haunt her in front of an angry jury.

JenBig Brother 8 Winner: Jen

Occupation: Nanny

From: Beverly Hills

Verdict: I can't think of a better way to prepare for the Big Brother household than nannying. Who else deals with immaturity and nervous breakdowns so often? She seems like she'll be able to charm the guys and get along with the gals. The perfect formula for victory.

I'll be readjusting these rankings once I get to know everyone a little better. Don't forget the premiere is next Thursday!

------------------------------------------------, my tribute to fun guys and girls everywhere.