Evan Almighty: Cargill vs. Laremy

Two of our writers took in the sequel to Bruce Almighty this week. But was Evan Almighty enough to make both Cargill and Laremy leap with glee? Or are they looking for their own ark to escape on? Read on to find out!

How many times did you say “ha” during this movie?

Cargill:
If that's French for leaning over to your wife and asking "Are they kidding me? Birds crapping on people?" then I don't remember how many times I said it.

Laremy:
Maybe three chuckles, all due to Wanda Sykes. Most of my time was spent wondering if I was allowed to leave yet.

Who is the ideal audience for this?

Cargill:
Christians and anyone who feels that Hollywood has gotten too violent, sexual or demeaning. If Disney made religious live action films, this would be what they would make. It's the perfect film to take in immediately after Sunday service.

Laremy:
Anyone aged six to eight. I hope anyone over eight sees the futility of this movie, it really was just a bad concept from the beginning. They can wrap it in as eco-friendly manner as they want to, it still smells something fierce.

What did you think of Steve Carell’s performance?

Cargill:
Meh. He was okay, although he fell back on a few of his old tricks which for the first time are becoming a bit tired. There are a few nuggets of comedic gold to be found there, but by no means are fans going to ever list this as one of his great performances.

Laremy:
He was doomed upon agreeing to the movie. NO ONE could have saved this dialogue and plot. I don't blame him, and I still love The Office and The 40 Year Old Virgin. He wasn't funny here, no one was, it's a disaster.

Can it possibly make that gaudy rumored $200m budget back?

Cargill:
I think so. This has a big heart and is rated PG for the whole family in a time when there are very few truly family friendly films in the market - and this is the only live action one. Besides, the Christian market has proved to be a large, virtually untapped demographic - and if it plays well like I think it will, they'll make their money back in a big way.

Laremy:
There is zero chance of it making it's budget back. To recoup $200 million it needs to do $400 million in worldwide business (because the theaters get half). Let's see here, a bad comedy based upon the Bible.. uh, something tells me it will die after week one. They are going to loose oodles of cash. It will open in the $40 million range and then get destroyed in the weeks following.

What should the next Almighty movie be about? And who with?

Laremy:
This is the very definition of a one trick pony. As it turns out religion isn't meant for lighthearted comedy. You can go dark comedy, or dark subject matter but not plain old comedy. This will be the last of this series, and we should all say a little thanks for that.

Cargill:
It's called Cargill Almighty, about a film critic who snarkily makes a comment about God being responsible for Norbit being a success and is given the power of a studio exec for one week with the catch that he has to greenlight a hit movie or spend all of eternity writing jokes for Eddie Murphy movies. It's a Heaven or Hell parable.

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VMAs 2018