Paula Abdul's Meltdown

Not that this should come as a surprise to anyone, but our resident chihuahua-preservation guru had a nervous breakdown on a conference call the other day. There is so, so much to say about this article, but I have so, so many other things to do right now, so I'm going to go ahead and let Page Six do my job for me right now. However, I did -- with the help of Laremy -- manage to track down the audio of the call being referenced, so you can't say I didn't put any effort into this job today. You can listen to it here.

She sobs on the tape: "I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach." Abdul is assured by those hearing her wails, "You will be treated better starting right now."

"I've been going through tremendous amounts of a difficult time," said Abdul, who recently fibbed to her fans when she said she hurt her nose tripping over her Chihuahua. (We reported the real story last week - that Abdul threw a glass against the wall and a shard of it cut her face.)

Ranting about Bragman [her publicist], who apparently didn't appreciate her enough, the petite former pop star says: "I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover.

"I'm being tested. All I've ever wanted in my life is to be treated fairly and be treated with kindness. And I've never in my entire career been treated this way. The people who are supposed to take care of these things do not. I have to clean up after them everywhere they go. And I'm tired of it."

The Evil Beet

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Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.