Who's Up, Who's Down: The Hobbit, Spider-Man 3

UP: The Hobbit

Somebody at New Line saw Spider-Man 3 last week. The rumor mill for the film adaptation of Tolkien's The Hobbit has shifted from Sam Raimi being the leading candidate to direct to none other than Peter Weir. Woah. I like Raimi a lot, but he's not in the same league as Weir. As much as I'd like to see this project leave New Line so Peter Jackson can direct it, this other Peter ain't too shabby either.

Hold on, I have an idea. Maybe Weir can direct The Hobbit, Jackson can direct Spidey 4 and Raimi can have his brother Ivan liquidated for that lazy Spidey 3 script. Yay! Now everyone's happy. See? I'm a uniter, not a divider, people.

DOWN: Spider-Man 3

That's right, I see your $60 million second week and $242 million total domestic ... and I scoff. You, with your 60% drop only tallying 621 million measly dollars worldwide. You may have all the riches. You may get the best table at Bel Air and any tee time you like. But you had a 60.3% drop your second week. That means you're a loser. It means you've lost your edge. So think about that next time you're in your jacuzzi, drinking champagne with your perfectly toned arms. $60 million? Ha! What have you done for me lately?

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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com, covering movies and DVD with his Floridian flare. E-mail him!