Premiere Magazine Goes Kaput

April marks the end of an era, as well as denoting the beginning of a very new one. This, as it turns out, is the very last month you can pick up Premiere magazine. On the newsstands, through subscriptions, anywhere. Stick a fork in it. You know the cliché. And it’s no surprise, really. Don’t get me wrong. Premiere was a great magazine, full of great writing, sharp critique and, for a time, great news articles.

But those days are over now. The internet, as many of us have said for years, has finally changed everything. And not necessarily for the better. You see, it has bred a new kind of attitude. Old News Phenomenon. And it’s happened to you. Oh yes, even you, virtuous, pious internet lover who think you’re “not one of those people.” Yes, even you suffer from the occasional bout of Old News Phenomenon.

At this very moment I could link to this brilliant cover of "My Humps" by Alanis Morissette (left column of page) and talk about how Morissette parodies not only her own style, but perfectly exemplifies what a complete artistic wasteland the lyrics to "My Humps" really are. My lumps, my lumps. My lovely lady lumps. Genius. Problem is, I’d get a couple hundred e-mails all saying the same thing. “Seen it. Next.” Sure, some of you haven’t seen it. And you’re laughing so hard you’re crying. Or maybe you’re thinking that "It’s Raining 300 Men" is better. But as this made the rounds last week, I dare not post about it on my own blog. Why? Because I don’t want to look like the guy who came to the party a week late.

And that is what killed Premiere, and what’s killing the rest. We have become so fickle about our news and entertainment – demanding it right now right this very minute can’t wait – that anything that takes time to print and get into stores can’t possibly be giving it to us fast enough. So James Cameron is making a new movie? Yeah, read about that on Ain’t it Cool News last month. NEXT! A new movie with Nicolas Cage? Yeah, downloaded the trailer last week – and your picture is from that trailer. NEXT! Lindsay Lohan is gett-- nope. Read three articles about her today. NEXT!

How can a magazine compete? Or a newspaper? Go to your convenience store and pick up a copy of today’s edition. Does the headline look like yesterday's top news on CNN? Because it probably is. Which is why you’ll never catch me toting around the daily edition.

Of course, this doesn’t exactly make life easier for those of us already working online. We have to keep on top of the news ourselves and choose our stories carefully – lest they begin to look like a knock-off of a knock-off of a knock-off of last week’s material. That, and well, all those Premiere writers are gonna be looking for work. And on that note, I’d like to remind my bosses of the tireless hours and dedication .…

But this is it. The first of the truly mighty has fallen. The herd is thinning. And the question now is: Who's next?

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me

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Austin-based Cargill, who not only loves but owns The Cutting Edge, writes on movies and DVD two times a week.