Bad Mad March Picks

Yesterday I read that James Dolan, owner of the NY Knicks, awarded coach Isiah Thomas with a multi-year extension for improving the F-grade performance by last year's coach, Larry Brown, to a D+ this year. Woo-hoo! This is a sub .500 team in the easiest (meaning worst) conference in the NBA -- the East. They also have the highest payroll in the league ($120 million) and a ton of talent. The season isn't even over and yet Dolan felt it necessary to award his coach, Isiah Thomas, an extension. It's inexplicable. This all has me feeling pretty sour. And since I'm in such a bad mood, I'm going to recommend some alternative (note: alternative = God-awful) basketball DVD picks this time. Be sure to avoid these little demons at all cost.

Juwanna Mann

I always thought Some Like It Hot was a little overrated. The problem with the movie is it spawned the man-in-woman's clothing sub-genre that -- at best -- offered up mixed results. I like Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire. But we got Big Mama's House, the even-worse sequel, Norbit, White Chicks, Sorority Girls ... you get the point. Add Juwanna Mann to the list of this miserable pack, probably towards the top. Not even the thought of seeing Vivica A. Fox will make me see this thing again. That is saying something.

Rebound

Martin Lawrence, why hath thou forsaken me?

Sunset Park

I've tried explaining my hatred for this movie a good three times now, but it just doesn't come out right. It's time to borrow from Ebert (from his infamous North review):

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

Thanks, Roger.

Slam Dunk Earnest

I know putting this on this list is like beating up on the homeless or something, but I caught about half of this thing once and the hairs on my neck are still standing.

Eddie

I don't know when I stopped caring for Whoopi Goldberg, but the Eddie era sounds about right. She plays a limo driver who is a big Knicks fan and gets the chance to coach the team. Hey, she'd be better than Isiah at this point.

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Dre writes five times a week for Film.com, covering movies and DVD with his Floridian flare. E-mail him!