TiVo This! Can't-Miss Movies on TV

I scour the skeds so you don't have to, to find the hidden movie gems from all over the channelverse: from the HBO family of channels, Showtime and The Movie Channel, and Turner Classic Movies, which air films uncut and uninterrupted (and sometimes in letterbox). But ya gotta turn to The SciFi Channel once in a while, too, commercials and editing be damned -- there's nothing like geeking out in front of the tube with really bad movies featuring built-in breaks for munchie refills and snark attacks.

(All times are Eastern. Times between midnight and 5:59am actually refer to the previous date. In other words, 2am Saturday really means the overnight twilight zone between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Links in movie titles go to my review. Movies frequently air more than once over the course of the month, so if you miss something mentioned here, search listings for additional showings.)


THURSDAY 03.01

Turner Classic Movies 9:00AM: The Producers. Springtime for Hitler, and Germany ....

Showtime 11:00AM: Brassed Off. Ewan McGregor gets musical.


FRIDAY 03.02

Turner Classic Movies 3:00PM: Sense and Sensibility. Austen powers.

Turner Classic Movies 4:30AM: Quiz Show. When game shows were so smart they had to be fixed.

Cinemax 8:30AM: The Goonies. C'mon, you loved the big pirate ship.


SATURDAY 03.03

Turner Classic Movies 2:15PM: The Odd Couple. And now we all know what "F.U." means.

Turner Classic Movies 8:00PM: North by Northwest. The ultimate mistaken-identity thriller.

Showtime 1:55AM: The Usual Suspects. Still fun even though we all know who Keyser Soze is now.

The Movie Channel 12:10PM: Stage Beauty. Life in the theater, Billy Crudup in drag.


SUNDAY 03.04

Turner Classic Movies 8:00AM: The Third Man. Postwar Vienna is a cesspool of corruption.

Turner Classic Movies 10:00PM: Arsenic and Old Lace. Killer grandmas.

HBO 12:00n: Field of Dreams. Play ball.

Showtime 4:20PM: Arachnophobia. Itsy-bitsy spiders, and one big-ass one.


MONDAY 03.05

OuterMax 11:30AM: Caddyshack. Fore!

The Movie Channel 2:00AM: Team America: World Police. Featuring cinema's only marionette sex scene.


TUESDAY 03.06

Turner Classic Movies Hard-boiled movies:

8:00PM: The Maltese Falcon. Sam Spade is on the job.

10:00PM: The Big Sleep. Philip Marlowe at work.

12:00m: Kiss Me Deadly. Mike Hammer, PI.

OuterMax 7:45AM: Eyewitness. Sigourney Weaver and William Hurt in legal trouble.

Showtime 1:30AM: The Return of the Living Dead. Mmmm, brains ....


WEDNESDAY 03.07

Turner Classic Movies Elementary! Basil Rathbone dons the deerstalker:

8:00PM: Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon. Versus Nazis.

9:15PM: The Woman in Green. She's probably the murderer.

10:30PM: Sherlock Holmes in Terror by Night. Versus jewel thieves.

11:45PM: Sherlock Holmes in Dressed to Kill. Killings over a music box.

Cinemax 12:00n: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I forget what this one is about ....

SciFi 6:00PM: Stargate SG-1: "The Other Guys". One of the best (and geekiest!) episodes of the long-running SF series.

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MaryAnn Johanson

author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride

minder of FlickFilosopher.com