Britney Spears Enters, Exits Rehab

Earlier today, I thought I'd heard the least surprising news of the week: Britney Spears checked into rehab. The hard-partying starlet, who's been MIA the past couple of days, responded to an intervention staged by her family and agreed to hop a flight to a clinic overseas, where she checked herself in two days ago.

This intervention has been a long time coming. Britney's drug and alcohol problem is widely believed to have started post-divorce, but that's not true. My sources have been telling me about the Brister's adventures in cocaine going back many years. The most recent one I heard involved Britney, four years ago, making the other person in the room -- a former Real Worlder -- pinky swear not to tell anyone about her nose candy. She's always had a hard-working, top-notch PR team surrounding her to shield her from the public consequences of this behavior, but she fired them all after her divorce. That's why you're just now hearing about it. So I wasn't in the least bit shocked to hear about this.

But even less surprising than hearing she checked into rehab? She checked herself out the next day. Rehab's tough, you know. It's stressful and tiring and emotionally draining, and they won't even let you drink! Not even a beer! You wouldn't want to be there either. Sigh. Here's hoping that Britney hits bottom and is ready to get help before she ends up like Anna. We're rooting for ya, Brit!!!

The Evil Beet

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Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.