Laremy's Sundance Diary 2007: Film.com Launch Party

Epic. That's the only real way to describe last evening's happenings.

Okay, I just heard back from the Film.com editorial staff and they want more output. I wonder if Hemingway had to put up with this sort of treatment? I bet his wireless connection was better than mine too.

The Film.com launch party was last night and the preparations seemed to engulf the entire day. Tsunami Marta was a whirling dervish and I've decided my next retirement party is going to be under her complete control. We arrived at the venue around six and I looked "snappy" or "snazzy" depending on your birthplace.

We interviewed the bands and they were both cool, but in very distinctive ways. I am sure meeting the guys and gals involved in the two bands biases me in a big way, but I have to opine that both of them were big-time fun. They were both led by guys named Robert; West Indian Girl was hauntingly melodic where The Apples in Stereo were stop-start rocking. A great contrast in styles, and I urge you to check them both out. Also consider meeting every band you go to see live, maybe play a round of golf with Bono or something before the show. Or get a ham sandwich, his treat.

I also was given swag (A free CD!) by the band which was pretty much the swaggyiest my days at Sundance got; all those rumors of free cars and a six pack of Mp3 players don't apply to lowly writers. Who wants to pay the taxes on all that anyhow? Please sir, you keep your plasma TV.

I invited a few writers to the party because I think all of us have a much different experience at the festival than say, Tara Reid. For one thing we're not hung upside down for keg stands every other minute. Anyway, they showed up and it was cool because we got to talk about movies for a few minutes. Go figure. I also met a few actors, directors, and producers, all of whom were extremely pleasant. I wish I had a horrific Hollywood style story but I don't on that front. Oh, here's one tidbit, I overheard a publicist say that anytime a star was rumored to have "walking pneumonia" that it was industry code for "drug addled and swatting at imaginary dragon flies in their penthouse suite." I'd say that news you can use next time you are diagnosing the stars.

One low note from yesterday, I ordered chicken quesadillas and they came with tomatoes embedded inside the dilla part. As I'm only a recent convert to salad, I wanted nothing to do with these red veggies, and besides that, the whole concept is completely, completely illogical. You never see chickens running wild among the tomato fields do you? No, of course not, it's absurd, so who in their right mind decided to combine them on my room service plate? C'mon guys, you're better than that.

I gleaned some insight from my fellow critics on the film Zoo; the story of a man who died due to the complications of having sex with a horse (physical complications, although you'd have to think that the mental aspect of an equine-human relationship could get pretty complicated too). I was hoping that they'd have glowing reviews for this film, but unfortunately it was thumbs down all the way. We all agreed that another documentary about suicidal bestiality was well warranted to cleanse the miss-fire of Zoo.

Oh, I almost forgot, two quick shout-outs and then a programming note; first I'd like to pass along a gracious thanks + bow to my biggest fan Judie. She's been with me every step of the way during this Sundance immersion and she's made me a better man for it. Keep up the good work sweet blue eyes. Together we'll knock the system down a notch.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't thank the official film.com driver. His name is Elias and he's the only Panamanian in Park City that drives 100 miles an hour, is immune to slowing while turning, and pumps "Bringing Sexy Back" at airplane level decibels as the Park City night flies by. I decided that dying in such an improbable manner (Film.com crew decimated, sexy pop song lives on) wouldn't be such a bad thing and Elias gave me a sense of freedom that I haven't had since the infamous "drunken merry-ground" incident (charges pending).

Sundance is not over though! Though we head home Monday we'll have some filming crews here throughout the week and we'll be putting up many more photos and video interviews with actors, directors, and producers. My last video update will be today; we can all hope Film.com finds someway to find a photo of me that's not horrific. Please guys, I have money, I will pay. Can I send you a baby photo? I was ravishing back then.

I'll also being doing a diary recap and the official movie reviews from Sundance will be posted throughout the week. Don't worry though, you can go take a shower, clean up, get some lunch, your marathon diary finale has come to end, as has my stay in HypothermiaVille (population: me).

That's it for now from Park City, I'm due at meeting where I decide whether or not biscuits and gravy are the wisest choice. My vote currently stands at "yes."

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Sundance: Very Early Day 2
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Sundance Diary: The Day Before
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This is part of Film.com's coverage of the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, which will include daily diaries from Film.com staff, video updates from the streets of Park City, photo galleries of celeb attendees and movie premieres, and actor and director interviews. Check back here throughout the festival for continually updated information.