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19 Times Buffy Slayed Everyone With Sass

Who needs a stake when your words burn like this?

It’s been 19 years since Buffy the Vampire Slayer came into our lives, and Sarah Michelle Gellar is feeling as sappy as anyone about the milestone.

The actress celebrated the show’s birthday by posting the perfect throwback pic of Buffy wielding her faithful Mr. Pointy and looking five shades of NO. While her caption was sugary sweet (thanking fans for the “incredible journey” and expressing her forever gratitude), we’re just happy to see our girl Buff in all her BS-intolerant glory.

Embedded from www.instagram.com.

So, as our own point of celebration for this splendid occasion, we put together a few of our favorite moment of brazen Buffy because she. was. the. best.

  1. When she didn’t even bother with polite introductions.

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    Quote: “I’m Buffy, the vampire slayer. And you are?” (Season 3, Episode 1 – “Anne”)

    Context: If you don’t know, now you know, demon.

  2. When she (as Faith) had to practice her signature snark.

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    Quote: “Why yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you?” (Season 4, Episode 16 – “Who are you?”)

    Context: If Faith wanted to pull of being FakeBuffy, she’d have to exude a little ’tude.

  3. When carpe diem just wouldn’t cut it.

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    Quote: “Seize the moment ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” (Season 1, Episode 1 – “Welcome to the Hellmouth”)

    Context: Willow got an earful of Buff’s philosophy.

  4. When she couldn’t suffer any more overreactions.

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    Quote: “If the apocalypse comes, beep me.” (Season 1, Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”)

    Context: Even though she’s a Slayer, Buffy still wants a normal life. “Clark Kent has a job,” so she can go on a date right? Can’t she live, Giles?

  5. When all the good news started to get to her.

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    Quote: “You’re ruining my happy day.” (Season 4, Episode 9 – “Something Blue”)

    Context: Buffy’s got a thing for Spike, but Riley doesn’t want to hear about it — much to her chagrin.

  6. When she showed a true appreciation for her own dark humor.

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    Quote: “If I were at full slayer power, I’d be punning right about now.” (Season 3, Episode 12 – “Helpless”)

    Context: Birthday girl Buffy celebrated her entry into adulthood with a rite of passage test that wore her out, and she’d just defeated a vamp but was too dragged to properly celebrate.

  7. When she knew the full healing power of sweets.

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    Quote: “There’s no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.” (Season 4, Episode 4 – “Fear Itself”)

    Context: A Halloween spent trapped with creatures of the netherworld sure can activate a girl’s sweet tooth.

  8. When even her mother wasn’t immune to the bite.

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    Quote: “I’m a busy little beaver. College and all.” (Season 4, Episode 16 – “Who Are You”)

    Context: Buffy’s mom tries to get some QT with her kid, but she catches major attitude.

  9. When her sister caught her special brand of big sisterly heat.

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    Quote: “You’re the one who insisted on teaching her to talk.” (Season 5, Episode 9 – “Listening to Fear”)

    Context: Dawn told Buffy and their mom about how gelatin is made — “from ground-up cows’ feet, and that if you eat Jello there’s some cows out limping with no feet” — and, naturally, Buffy felt like the superior Summers sister (again).

  10. When she refused to be impressed by mediocrity.

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    Quote: “So, you haven’t murdered anybody lately? Let’s be best pals!” (Season 4, Episode 8 – “Pangs”)

    Context: Spike got a full serving of sarcasm when he tried to get Buffy’s help on account of him being newly unable to bite people.

  11. When she started to notice a distinct pattern going on.

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    Quote: “All right. I get it, you’re evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?” (Season 3, Episode 10 – “Amends”)

    Context: How else are you supposed to react when a demon throws this at you? “I’m not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can’t even conceive. The first evil. Beyond sin, beyond death… I am the thing the darkness fears. You’ll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate…” Yeah, smartassness is definitely in order after that mouthful.

  12. When she went Judge Dredd on fools.

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    Quote: “There’s no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing council. Human rules don’t apply. There’s only me. I am the law.” (Season 7, Episode 5 – “Selfless”)

    Context: Xander accuses Buffy of acting like the boss, and that’s when she explains exactly why she is, in fact, running shit.

  13. When she pulled an epic ’no duh’ on Giles when he was being extra DAD.

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    Quote: “Well in that case, I won’t wear my button that says, ‘I’m a Slayer. Ask me how.’” (Season 1, Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”)

    Context: This is Buffy Summers’s way of calling BS on Giles’s overprotecting attitude.

  14. When she went whoosh and wasn’t sorry about it.

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    Quote: “Pop culture reference, sorry.” (Season 1, Episode 8 – “I, Robot … You, Jane”)

    Context: She tried to use the term “spider sense” in a sense about her latest hunch, and it sailed right over Giles’s head.

  15. When she reminded everyone to be on the lookout for the less obvious red flags.

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    Quote: “She irons her jeans. She’s evil.” (Season 4, Episode 2 – “Living Conditions”)

    Context: Buffy really hates her new roommate Kathy — “She’s the Titanic; she’s a crawling black cancer,” she says. “Kathy’s evil. I’m an evil-fighter. It’s simple. I’m gonna have to kill her.” When no one’s convinced, she points out that this girl actually puts an iron to denim because that’s just how cray this girl is.

  16. When she knew exactly what she needed to put an end to that long, hard day.

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    Quote: “Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.” (Season 4, Episode 5 – “Beer Bad”)

    Context: With Xander working at a bar, it’s bottom’s up for Buffy.

  17. When she gave a fourth wall wink to the show’s timeslot.

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    Quote: “So, Dawn’s in trouble… must be Tuesday.” (Season 6, Episode 7 – “Once More, With Feeling”)

    Context: In the musical episode, when everyone’s been compelled to sing their words, this little saying became canon for the show, even if it was kind of pointing fingers in the wrong direction over who summoned Sweet.

  18. When good-bye just wasn’t punchy enough.

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    Quote: “Conversation’s over, hell bitch.” (Season 5, Episode 13 – “Blood Ties”)

    Context: Buffy wasn’t coming out of nowhere with that colorful descriptor of her subject here, considering Glory actually was a god from a hell dimension and made all of their lives a living nightmare in Season 5.

  19. When she said the thing that no one who actually encounters vampires should ever say (but it was still appropriate).

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    Quote: “Bite me.” (Season 3, Episode 12 – “Helpless”)

    Context: To be fair, the recipient of this line wasn’t a vamp but one of the Watchers who’d stripped her of her powers just in time for a difficult battle, so he totally deserved it.