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24 Fuller House Questions We Need Answered

::Anxiously awaits Season 2 confirmation::

Whether you loved Fuller House, hated it, or fell somewhere in between, one basic fact remains: Now that you've had a chance to binge all 13 episodes, you probably have a lot of questions.

Sure, some could argue that with its wholesome, lighthearted narrative and occasionally exasperating wink-wink nods to our collective obsession with nostalgia, Fuller House really isn't the kind of show that needs ~ logic ~ and reasoning to sustain itself in the era of Peak TV. But where's the fun in that? We have questions that need answers! Now, most of these won't be answered until Fuller House (presumably) returns for Season 2, so prepare yourself for some minor disappointment. Or, you know, have mercy patience.

Spoilers for Fuller House past this point, but hopefully you figured that out already.

  1. What happened to DJ's other house? You know, the actual Fuller house?
    Netflix

    The housing prices in San Francisco are astronomical, so what did DJ do with her other home when she and the boys moved in with Danny? We know that she was looking for a home for her and the boys when it looked like Danny was going to sell the Tanner house, but that still doesn't explain what she did with her own home. DJ's other house was never addressed, but there are two likely scenarios: Either DJ sold her home (and if so, what was the asking price?), or she's renting it for the time being.

  2. What emoji is this?
    Netflix

    In this photo is Stephanie imitating the smiling cat emoji? Or is it the heart-eyes cat emoji? Either way, it's safe to say that Steph gets a lot of use out of her emoji keyboard.

  3. What happened to DJ's first husband?
    Netflix

    No, not Tommy. We know what happened to him. (RIP.) We're talking about Sylvio, the handsome Greek man who arrived in San Francisco with Grandpa Papouli and Uncle Jesse lookalike Cousin Stavros in the show's fourth season. DJ and Sylvio walked three times around the kitchen table, which meant they were married according to Greek tradition. Well, according to the show. Since Fuller House brought back Stephanie's first husband, Harry Takayama, then we don't see why they wouldn't bring back Sylvio.

  4. How did Danny meet his new wife?
    Netflix

    Danny's new wife got all of five seconds of screen time in the Fuller House premiere -- how rude! -- but the very thought of her presence still made quite an impact. So, how did Danny meet the new Mrs. Tanner? Our guess is Match.com. Danny is too OCD to leave things up to fate. More importantly, however, why did it seem like the girls didn't get along with their dad's new wife? Fuller House is built on the foundation of the prototypical '90s family, so it seems like a missed opportunity for the show not to have a touching moment between DJ, Stephanie, and Mrs. Tanner.

  5. How did Ramona know all of the moves to this dance from 1988?

    Let me break this down for you. New Kids On The Block released "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" in 1988, so it makes perfect sense that DJ, Stephanie, and Kimmy would know the moves, but Ramona was literally born in the new millennium. She doesn't even know who Jordan Knight is. Yes, I know she's a dancer, but there's no way she learned these moves in dance class.

  6. Why did Danny drop a piece of toast on the floor and then not immediately freak out about it?
    Netflix

    That is not the Danny Tanner we know and love. The Danny Tanner we know and love would have immediately grabbed at least two different Dustbusters and some Clorox disinfecting wipes.

  7. Why didn't Nicky and Alex come up to San Francisco for their parent's renewal ceremony?

    It's not like they had anything else to do, right? It was established early on that the boys weren’t all that great at college and spent most of their time surfing, so why weren't they available to come to Jesse and Becky's vow renewal? They would have been so pumped to take a long weekend trip to San Francisco.

  8. Are we also supposed to believe that Uncle Jesse hasn't sang "Forever" in over 20 years?
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    This honestly seems like the biggest logic fail of the entire first season. You KNOW Jesse probably sings this at least once a day. Not to mention, he's always prepared to sing an impromptu jam for a crowd.

  9. Why did Max name his puppy Cosmo and not Comet Jr. Jr. Jr.?
    Netflix

    Way to break the cycle of unequivocal cuteness, kid. Don't act like you're too cool to name your puppy after his mother and her mother before that... and her father before that.

  10. Why doesn't Ramona hypnotize her mom all the time?
    Saeed Adyani/Netflix

    One episode features a series of post-hypnotic trigger words (like "Houseboat") that Ramona has implanted in Kimmy's brain because obviously. But Ramona only uses her new "power" to make her mother cluck like a chicken, which isn't even all that useful. Girl, if you really wanted to move back home, why didn't you just hypnotize your mom?

  11. Where did Stephanie get so much tomato juice so quickly?
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    On top of that, how did Stephanie actually get the tomato juice delivered to the veterinarian's office? Or does the vet just keep a stockpile of tomato juice on hand for situations like this? To be honest, that sounds like an awful lot of work.

  12. What was baby Tommy looking at up there?
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    This was never fully explained, therefore it's going to burn a hole into our brains until we figure out the mystery behind Tommy's weird behavior. What's so interesting up there, Tommy? Or are you just trying to trick your aunt Stephanie into looking like an idiot? Either way, WE NEED TO KNOW.

  13. Where did Stephanie find the couch fabric?
    Netflix

    That couch is AT LEAST 35 years old, so where did Stephanie find all of that excess fabric to make Danny's sport coat? Not to mention, how is that tiny couch still standing after all these years? Do you KNOW how many butts have sat on that couch? It's one roughhouse away from exploding into dust.

  14. Why was DJ so surprised that Mr. Harmon left the business to his son Matt?
    Netflix

    DJ should know a thing or two about nepotism. Yes, she worked with Mr. Harmon for eight years, but of course he'd want to keep the business in the family. Matt is his son, and frankly, we didn't find his decision all that terrible. Danny Tanner would have done the same thing for you, DJ It's not Matt's fault.

  15. Why was Steve so thirsty for DJ?
    Netflix

    Was I the only one who was kind of turned off by Steve's behavior this season? He was being incredibly possessive, and frankly, Deej, that is not cute. Sure, it was pretty adorable of him to spend his date with DJ playing in the yard with Max and Jackson, but that didn't make me forget all of the creepy things he did to DJ before then. Give a girl some space, dude.

  16. And how many miles does he run a day to work off all of those calories?
    Netflix

    Given that Steve probably consumes around 3,000 calories per day, he'd probably have to run approximately 10 miles per day to burn off all of that excess food. It's not like Steve has a teenage metabolism anymore, so he has to WORK for that body.

  17. Oh, and what happened to his beautiful hair?

    Where did your swoon-worthy locks go, Steve? Aging, man. It happens to all of us.

  18. What are the actual odds of catching a home run ball?

    Sure, Stephanie just assumes that the odds of catching a homerun/foul ball at a MLB game are "a billion-to-one," but is that accurate? NOPE. The actual odds of catching a homerun/foul ball are more like one in 1,000. #TheMoreYouKnow

  19. Was Stephanie really cursed?
    Netflix

    Stephanie seemingly cursed her boyfriend, the San Francisco Giants's charismatic outfielder Hunter Pence, with terrible luck at the bat in Season 1, but it was never fully explained if Stephanie was the root cause of Hunter's performance anxiety. Was she a distraction? Yes. But we highly doubt Stephanie cursed Hunter Pence. Some guys need to take responsibility for their own actions. Now, is Stephanie cursed to be a Tanner? Yep. 100 percent.

  20. Who thought that Bollywood number was a good idea?

    No. Seriously. Who? Even worse, who wrote that "Turban Outfitters" joke? Did no one in the writers' room object to cultural appropriation? We're disappointed in you, Tanners.

  21. How much time has passed over the course of Season 1?
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    The timeline doesn't make much sense. Stephanie attends Coachella in April in Episode 5, and Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky celebrated their wedding anniversary in February, so wouldn't that mean they would choose to renew their vows in February, too? In Episode 13, Jesse and Becky renew their vows alongside Kimmy and Fernando, who piggyback off their ceremony with their own wedding ceremony, but again, if Becky and Jesse married in February, why would they choose to renew their vows in the spring?

  22. How could DJ not choose Matt?

    Sorry, but Matt is just the all-around better dude in this pseudo-Bachelor scenario. Not only does he share insane chemistry with DJ, but he also offered to give her 50 percent of his business. He's an extremely nice guy with a heart of gold and abs of steel. When DJ needed space, he gave her space. The same cannot be said for Steve. While we adore Steve -- that man is like a golden retriever personified -- he's just a little too desperate for DJ.

  23. Does Jeff Franklin get a check from Mylanta every time DJ says, "Oh, Mylanta!"

    This is a serious question, seeing as "Oh, Mylanta" is uttered, by various characters, at least a dozen times throughout the season. Stephanie even chugged Mylanta straight from the bottle! We can only hope Franklin is making some extra dough on the side from this decades-long product placement.

  24. What did ever happen to predictability?

    LOL. Just kidding.