One of the things about being a Washington insider running for president is the number of consultants you run across. Not just official campaign consultants, either: the untold number of friends and hangers-on who feel that their tangential knowledge of the political scene gives them license to freelance advise. Bernie Sanders does not have to deal with this. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, well …
To: Hillary
From: Katy Perry
Subject: Me-ow!
Great job! I can totally hear you roar — like, just enough. Not too loud.
To: Hillary
From: Madeleine Albright
Subject: Women who don’t support you
?
To: Hillary
From: OFFICE OF BILL CLINTON
Subject: cookies
He’s down for a nap, is asking about gluten-free cookies?
On debate: "Probably should pivot off of Kissinger. Otherwise, good."
To: Hillary
From: Henry Kissinger
Subject: FYI
You probably should stop talking about me. I am a war criminal.
Btw, saw Vlad P the other day. He says hi.
xo,
Hank
To: Hillary
From: GMAIL CUSTOMER SERVICE
Subject: You have exceeded your storage quota on account SECRET GOVERNMENT BUSINESS
Please log in to your account to pay for further storage or delete data.
To: Hillary
From: Donald J. Trump
Subject: FWD: re: re: re: re: re: RE: re: re: re: RE: fwd: Benghazi
{this message cannot be displayed}
To: Hillary
From: Sid Blumenthal
Subject: Secret message
The eagle has landed. When the German meets the Swede, only the French know what time it is. ARGL-TYBLH.
- Leo (I’m really Sid)
-- Sent from my Palm Pre
To: HILLARY
From: SANDERS BERNIE
Subject: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I CAN TYPE ANYTHING IN THIS LINE AND SHE’LL SEE IT ON HER PHONE
WALL STREET I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WALL STREET WHERE ARE MY SHOES WALL STREET
To: Hillary
From: Clinton, Chelsea
Subject: Donut cushion
Where did you put it? Second trimester taking a toll …
To: Hillary
From: Philippe Reines
Subject: YOU ROCKED IT
Muscular! Commanding! I even loved the shirt. How do you want this covered?
I’m in Bali, on the beach rn but can pull some strings.
To: Hillary
From: Lloyd Blankfein
Subject: re: Payment
I’m sorry, but “untraceable Krugerrands” are not an option. I checked.
Speaking of, have you thought about pivoting away from Kissinger?
To: Hillary
From: Lena Dunham
Subject: WTF Wall Street all the time I mean really
Can I borrow that top?????
Also Anna Wintour wants to bedazzle my cervix for Milan idk, what do you think?
To: Hillary
From: Martin O’Malley
Subject: Just checking
Just … checking. I mean, I’m around, if you want to talk. I’m here.
To: Hillary
From: John Lewis
Subject: 22 Things Only Cat Lovers Will Understand About Cats
Thought you could use this. http://www.buzzfeed.com/floperry/things-only-cat-owners-understand-about-cats
That fucking guy, you know?
Btw, not sure about the Kissinger stuff.
