On February 11, the HBO Gods gifted us with our first real look at Game of Thrones Season 6 in a series of spoiler-ridden images.
Blind Arya Stark! Bran Stark! Theon "Reek" Greyjoy and Sansa Stark alive, and not looking so well! The return of Daenerys Targaryen's bedraggled desert hair! Aside from the suspiciously absent (and totally not dead) Jon Snow, who refused to bless us with his gothic-chic splendor, these photos are just what we needed to make it to April 24.
However, not everyone is happy with the newly released images. There's one photo in particular that has fans up in arms: Sansa Stark, looking a little... pregnant?
Now, before we jump to conclusions, it's entirely possible that this is just a combination of terrible posture and an ill-fitted dress. Honestly, we hope that's all there is to this photo because the thought of Sansa Stark giving birth to the Bastard of Bolton's child is just too horrible to imagine. Sansa has been through enough, Benioff and Weiss.
Plus, the impending Battle for Winterfell is no place for an expectant mother. Can Jon Snow and the Wildlings just take care of this douche already?
In other words:
Meanwhile, in the middle of the Dothraki Sea, Daenerys is looking wonderfully unkempt and uncomfortable again, which is a delightful reminder that the boring old days of Meereen are finally over.
Well, not entirely. Tyrion and Varys are still stuck in that hellhole. When Dany and Drogon flew out of Meereen, she left Tyrion behind with Missandei and Grey Worm to maintain order. Since this never happened in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, we'd have to assume that Tyrion would be a natural fit as Meereen's interim leader. As for us viewers, it should be nice getting to see Tyrion in charge again, even if his kingdom is broken and starving. Oh, wait. He's pretty used to that...
What a shit hole King's Landing must be these days. No wonder the High Sparrow has risen to power so quickly. While we're not entirely sure where Cersei and Jaime's storylines will lead this season, we have to assume that the loss of Myrcella will be devastating to Cersei.
There's no one Cersei loves more than her children, so we can only imagine what kind of war she'll wage to get her revenge on the Sand Snakes and House Martell. Last we saw of her, she had partnered up with Gregor Clegane, who swore at the end of the fifth season to remain totally silent until he'd slain all of Cersei's enemies.
Jaime's ill-fated trip to Dorne will undoubtedly have a huge impact on the Kingslayer, so we have to wonder if he'll venture to the Riverlands this season, to keep in continuity with A Feast For Crows, or if he'll stay close to home. However, a trip to the Riverlands to win over more allies would also put him within proximity of Brienne of Tarth, which would be an amazing reunion.
Meanwhile, Margaery is still being locked away by the High Sparrow. Hopefully, her spirit hasn't been completely crushed by her solitude. We'd love a chance to see her spar off with Cersei's shame bell-ringer.
As for Arya, who became completely blind at the end of Season 5, the youngest Stark should find herself going undercover for The Faceless Men this season. If the Powers That Be decide to go with Arya's interesting A Dance With Dragons storyline, expect the young assassin to become involved with a theater troupe. Sadly, don't expect her to get a pedicure.