It's hard to believe, but on Wednesday night (January 13) the world will finally check out of Lady Gaga's "American Horror Story: Hotel." We're still not sure whether or not the Golden Globe-winning actress will return for another season, but in the meantime, here's what we hope will go down before Liz Taylor fetches our bags and escorts us off the premises:
A happy ending for Liz Taylor.FX
Liz finally got the validation she so badly needed, via her fairly well adjusted son, just a few weeks back. So why stay at the Cortez at all? Here's to hoping the Hotel's true leading lady busts the hell out of there by the end of "Be Our Guest."
... But maybe not for the rest of the squad.FX
This season of "AHS" featured horrible people across the board. Unlike our first season with lovable immortal ghosts, "Murder House," pretty much every single character on "Hotel" was a monster in one way or another -- both in life, and in death. Therefore, this season doesn't quite warrant the happy-ish ending for the ghosts that neatly wrapped up "Murder House." Maybe the parents of those Swedish girls will finally show up and blow up the hotel? Or, better yet, it will get bought out and become another J.W. Marriott? Either way, Mr. March and Elizabeth's reign of terror has got to end. We trust them dead even less than we trusted them alive.
Ramona Royale as the new supreme (vampire).FX
... That being said, Ramona Royale was a blast to watch when she actually got some decent screen time. Here's to hoping Ramona takes over as a kinder, gentler, more funky-fabulous version of The Countess.
One more threesome.
"The more the merrier" has essentially been the defining theme of the season. Why not go out with a, you know, bang?
Lil' Barty was introduced as The Biggest Deal In The Countess' Life just a few weeks back, but really all he's done since then is gross out Will Drake. Since he's The Countess' supposed Achilles heel, it would be beneficial to learn the ending to his story.
A Constance cameo.FX
This whole season has been playing up the "all of 'American Horror Story' is connected" angle, mostly via the easy connections "Hotel" has to "Murder House." The easiest connection of all would be Jessica Lange's fan-favorite Constance Langdon, one of the few survivors of the "Murder House" season and current adopted parent to a satanic child. (She and Elizabeth would have so much to talk about!)
We already know that Sarah Paulson's Billie Dean Howard will make a cameo in the episode, so here's to hoping that Ryan Murphy was able to convince Lange to say one last goodbye.
A new life for Scarlett.FX
GET THAT GIRL AWAY FROM HER TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE PARENTS. Poor Scarlett had none of this coming. Girl just wants to ride the bus and go to school.