9 Ways Ricky Gervais Will Destroy The Golden Globes

We hope you like insults and wiener jokes.

On Sunday night (Jan. 10), Ricky Gervais will make his triumphant return to the Golden Globes stage.

And they'd better put some salve in those swag bags, because this is definitely gonna burn.

In his first three years as the Globes' host, Gervais got big laughs (and occasional consternation) by poking fun at everybody in attendance, including himself. From cracking jokes about his own tiny donger (it works fine, by the way), to revealing that Helen Mirren poops in sinks and Colin Firth is a racist kitten-puncher (nooooooo!), he could always be counted on to cross lines and violate taboos -- which not everyone appreciated, hence his replacement by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in 2013.

Thing is, he's also amazing at pushing the envelope in between envelope-openings, which is probably why the Hollywood Foreign Press Association just can't quit him. And they lured him back to the stage this year by promising that he could say whatever he wanted, which will hopefully mean a return of all these classic Ricky Gervais moves at the 2016 Golden Globes.

  1. Penis references.

    It's not that we want Ricky to talk about his penis; it's just that we've come to expect it, and our expectations must be met.

  2. Biting the hand that feeds him.

    Ricky Gervais has never hosted the Globes without cracking a joke at the expense of the HFPA, and it's actually oddly refreshing.

  3. Mid-ceremony tweets.

    Just because he's onstage in a tux, that doesn't mean the actor should fall down on his prolific Twitter use.

  4. Personal jabs.

    Gervais has never shied away from making fun of stars' sordid histories or failed projects (and people are still peeved at him over his dig at Robert Downey, Jr.'s struggle with addiction back at the 2011 Globes.) But c'mon guys: you don't ask Ricky Gervais to host your awards ceremony if you don't want to see him make hamburger out of Hollywood's sacred cows. It's part of his charm!

  5. Jokes at his own expense.

    One of the biggest reasons the Globes host can get away with being rude AF: he makes sure to mock himself just as hard, if not harder.

  6. A Stephen Merchant cameo.

    Everyone loves seeing these two together. Hey, while you're at it, invite Karl too.

  7. Total f---s given: 0.

    The only thing Ricky does better than mock celebrities is not care how they (or you) feel about it.

  8. A Miss Golden Globe position for Ricky's cat.

    Ollie is a very good girl and she deserves it more than anyone.

  9. And hey, how about puppies?

    Bring this puppy with you, Ricky, and all will be forgiven... whatever it is.