When men grow into adulthood, most grow body hair like beards, chest hair and leg hair. As men grow even older, hair starts growing in less favorable places -- i.e. literally everywhere. One man took his newfound plethora of back hair and turned it into art.
Mike Wolfe, very hairy fella, was going to the beach one day with his friends. Since he wouldn't be wearing a shirt and would be showing off his hirsute back, he asked his friend Tyler Harding to shave an appealing design into his back.
"He wanted to have something to flaunt instead of an unbelievably hairy back," shave artist and friend Tyler Harding told BuzzFeed. "So we drew up some sketches and went to town having no clue what we were doing."
Fast forward to now -- the duo have created so many back hair masterpieces that they put together a calendar for 2016 called CalendHAIR (get it?) Naturally, I have a few questions.
You would consider yourself a lighthearted man, yes?
Do you contend that contrasts with your heavy, thick and lustrous pelt of back hair?
So ... like ... why?
I know you stated the reason, but again, I just have to ask "Why?" to feel better about myself, OK?
Did you consider how this would affect future job prospects?
Or did you just throw caution to the wind?
You just said, "Hey, wind! I refuse to accept any future job that doesn't like designs shaved into my hairy, hairy back," right?
Oh ... you're a Vice Principal?
How's that going for you?
Well, I'm guessing?
I bet your family and friends are glad about that?
Because who wants to console a friend for moving from education to back hair art?
Speaking of, how willing was your friend to shave your back that first time??
Was he like ... entirely too into it?
And now he's constantly asking you how hairy your back is?
Or does he know your back hair growth schedule now?
Because he wants to be the first back hair artist to make it into the Louvre?
These aren't real quotes on your website, are they?
Have you considered saving your hair shavings and making fashions out of them?
You know, like we do to sheep?
What would you call your shorn material?
You know, cause of your last name?
Do you think that's a bad idea?
Well, how about this one: Have you tried selling your calendar to hairy stars?
Like Steve Carrell?
Or maybe you should send him one for free?
Then he can tweet about it or something?
It could be a right of passage for hairy famous people, to receive a framed and signed image of your hair-canvas?
Well, how about this last idea: why not donate some of the proceeds to charity?
Oh, you already do?
Well, isn't that lovely.
Buy Mike Wolfe and Tyler Harding's Calendhair by going to their website.