Brownie's Biddies: An Analysis Of Danny Brown's Twitter Groupies (NSFW)

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We here at MTV Hive pride ourselves on examining the pressing music issues that nobody else has the guts to address. Just last year, this mission led us to peer into the depraved world of 50 Cent's cyber groupies — a brazen group known as Fiddy's Biddies — in order to better understand the role of social media in groupiedom.

To do this, we sifted through the unimaginable sexual filth in Fif's feed and decoded what type of come-on, exactly, was most likely to get put on blast by the rapper himself. The resulting knowledge base forever changed the business of propositioning one's favorite MC in the age of the Internet.

Well, we've reassembled our crack research team to shed light on Danny Brown's thirstiest followers. Brown is the only rapper who comes close to 50 Cent in terms of giving his horniest Twitter groupies a public platform, and Brownie's Biddies are the only ones who match, or even surpass, the rabid lustfulness and vulgarity of Fiddy's Biddies, NSA monitoring be damned.

Here's an atypically restrained example:

Below, enter the world of Brownie's Biddies, and perhaps find out once and for all which rapper's fans are hornier.

ACTIVITY

At the time of Hive's study, Brown tallied 42,600+ tweets. Dude is a machine. We again headed to TweetStats for some extra help in homing in on the last six months, and found that in that time frame, Brown averaged 28 tweets/day and roughly 650 tweets/month, for a total of 4,000 tweets. He's most active on Saturdays and least active on Sundays (aren't we all?). Brown's tweeting activity spikes right around lunchtime — seems before eating, he likes to read about, erm, "eating." In fact, quite surprisingly, he's much more active in the early morning hours than he is late at night. He is Old, after all.

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A full quarter of Brown's tweets are replies to @'s. Just take a look at this graph of his August activity to see how much of his Twitter life consists of engaging with or retweeting followers.

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Thus, prospective groupies have a pretty good chance of showing up on Brown's timeline if they holler at him before party hours. He's most likely to check mentions on Saturdays, but a cyber flirtation on that day risks getting lost in the shuffle.

To further optimize their chances of catching Danny's attention, biddies should heed the below findings regarding Danny's most-tweeted words. We examined word frequencies to see how they correlated with real examples of cyber flirtations he took a liking to. Below, we have laid out the trends and patterns that emerged (you may find them similar to those that cropped up with 50 Cent).

STIMULI

Lewdness

Roughly 10% of the words in Brown's Twitter feed fall under this category. That's a lot of instances of terms like "ass," "fuck," "come," "head" and "suck." Below are some of the most representative recent examples. Posted on the Internet, for all to see. Literally anyone can see these.

Subtopic: Face-sitting

Within this category is the subset of tweets specifically about sitting on DB's face. Unlike most rappers, Danny Brown flaunts his (gap-toothed) pussy-eating prowess (see: "I Will"), and his groupies are eager to see if he can walk the walk. Quite frankly, we could do a whole study on the face-sitting aspect of his feed, but we simply do not have the resources (a grant application is in the works). In the meantime, peruse the tweets below, which, we'd again like to point out, were posted on a public forum where literally anyone in the world can see them.

Humor

Anyone who's seen Brown in an interview knows he's a funny dude. When his mouth isn't engaged in smoking or ingesting molly or certain other activities, he's usually laughing: "LOL" is one of his top five most-used words on Twitter. So, like with 50 Cent, if a biddy can pair her proposition with a pun or some other witticism, she's more likely to get noticed.

Romance/Stalking

Perhaps this was our most surprising finding — although, not if you've been following his development ahead of Old — Danny is a lover, not merely a fuck-er. Roughly five percent of his tweets employ the word "love," so play to his inner romantic, and not just his id, and you may score yourself a mention.

Interestingly, several of Brown's romantic suitors tread dangerously close to "crazy stalker" territory, something the Detroit rapper actually seems to endorse. See the below tweets he blasted out on his timeline.

CONCLUSIONS

After our 50 Cent study, we concluded that a tweet with a combination of humor, high accolades and horniness was the best way to get noticed by the G-Unit star. We found the same overall trends were true with Danny Brown, however he doesn't seem to place a premium on jokes. Additionally, Brown is very streaky on Twitter. Whereas Fiddy would RT with reckless abandon, gravitating towards those messages that hit two of the three sweet spots, Brown seems to go through phases. One day he'll mainly re-post tweets about oral sex, then a few days later he'll go on a binge of tweets with women professing their love, followed by a string of tweets that compliment his music.

So, for Brownie's Biddies, the best way to get noticed is to apply the above lessons (lunchtime, Saturdays) and observe his mood. When he's turnt, tweet at him about having sex. When he's in "I Will" mode, tweet about face-sitting. When he's low-key, tweet about kidnapping and marrying him.

And for the last finding: Never let your daughter on Twitter. She could end up on an MTV site tweeting about mushing her genitals into the face of a rapper she's never met.